// i don’t like thursdays //

« post idea from izzy’s rad blog »

songs in bold are explicit.

roger rabbit // sleeping with sirens

me in my own head // beartooth

down // blink-182

missing you // green day

avalanche // bring me the horizon

fourth of july // fall out boy

hard times // paramore

coconut sharks in the water // twenty one pilots

yes, i really did put that last one on there. and there’s nothing you can do about it, no matter how angry you are at me. that song is so underappreciated.

 600 followers?? wow, you guys actually like me, you’re so precious. i feel like a proud mother duck with a couple hundred cute duckling babies following me about. you guys are my adorable children and i must protect you.

whenever i try to type “frank iero,” his last name autocorrects to “jerk,” and i die a little bit every time, because HOW PERFECT.

my family is going on vacation to the beach sometime this summer. we’ll be there for a week, at a place with a gentle drop off and a cute beach house and vibrant sunsets, and i’ve got to say . . . i’m not looking forward to it at all. i would do absolutely anything to get out of going. the ocean is lovely enough, but i don’t do well with heat, and i don’t like bathing suits, and i have this newfound slight fear of large bodies of water. although i do love smelling like the sea and the kinky way my hair dries and when a huge wave slams me against the bottom. still, the thought of going makes me feel a bit sick. i just hope some miraculous way for me to get out of this pops up soon.

den mother said something that i thought was rather nice, so i decided to put it on here. “a colorblind person sees no color on the bee, but we all insist it’s yellow and black. they think we are simply making up an unfathomable concept of color. you’re blind to your own beauty, and even though we all insist it’s there, you don’t believe us because you can’t see it yourself. just as that colorblind person must trust the concept of color, you must trust your own beauty.”

 

Jack barakat snapchat

i probably could have used one of his “inspiring quotes” as the caption for this, but the only one i can remember is “sometimes you gotta look yourself in the mirror and say ‘you are the prettiest princess in all the land.’ i do it once a week.” and i’m not sure how well that will go over with you guys.

x

i got a new plant yesterday. :D he’s the weird orange thing in first picture. go stare at him, he is beautiful. i named him barakat, after jack barakat, the guitarist from the band all time low. he’s the dude in the photo above. hopefully i won’t accidentally kill my lovely new plant friend, but we’ll see. i nearly killed my baby plants from this post, and they’re cacti, so they’re supposed to be quite easy to take care of. things do not look good for barakat.

i’ll be going to public school part time next year. that’s a thing. i’ll be taking one class a day, i believe, but one day it will be spanish, and the next day it will be math. and to see which math class i’ll be taking, i’m going to have to go to the school sometime next week and take a test. that might not seem like a big deal to most of you, but since i’ve been homeschooled my whole life, i don’t have that much experience with important tests. i’m not that good at math, and tests really stress me out (i’ve been known to completely break down while taking them), so my chances of passing and getting into the class my mom wants are quite low. i might just fail on purpose, who knows. i’ll never be good enough for my parents anyway, so why even try? my brother is brilliant, he gets all a’s and got awards in multiple classes. i’ll never be that good, so my parents will never have a reason to be proud of me.

i’ll always be a disappointment. i can’t change.

xo

loren

Advertisements

32 thoughts on “// i don’t like thursdays //

  1. Josie says:

    I believe in you! We never do quite as bad as we think, even in math. Answer the best you can so you can learn and grow at the right level. And ooohh I’ll have to check those songs out.

    Like

  2. Kathleen @dollsanddance says:

    congrats on 600!
    I hope you can figure out a way to not go to the beach. If you do go, I hope it all goes well and that you do make some good memories.
    I love that. Den mother sounds like a very sweet friend.
    Barakat looks quite neat! Is it a succulent?
    Aw, good luck on your test. I know how stressful big tests can be but I do believe that you can do it. Are you excited to go do some classes at a public school?
    You’re not a disappointment, you are always sweet and kind and an amazing artist/writer and a thinker and dreamer and I don’t know you very well but I think you care about a lot of things that actually matter and that’s some of the highest praise I can give.

    -kathleen

    Liked by 1 person

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      thank you. :)

      N’s church is doing a youth retreat the week we’re going on vacation, and a girl at his church told me i should come. that’s kind of the perfect way to escape the beach, but i won’t go unless N invites me.

      she is quite sweet.

      barakat is a bromeliad, so it’s quite similar to a succulent, i believe.

      idk, i’m not really looking forward to public school, but i’m not dreading it, either. that will probably change as the new school years gets closer and the anxiety sets in.

      i’ve actually been called a disappointment by my parents, so sorry if i have a bit of a hard time believing that i’m not. but thank you so much, that really helps. ♥

      xo loren

      Like

      • Kathleen @dollsanddance says:

        :)

        Oh, I hope you can do that! That sounds like it would be loads of fun.

        Yeah :)

        Oh, yeah. I’m hoping that you’ll have a fun year doing that, then, regardless of any anxiety you may start to have.

        Aw, I’m sorry. <3 Well, I will never think of you as a dissapointment, and I strongly doubt that any of the 600 people who follow your blog do either. But I'm glad it did.

        Have a good day, Loren. :)

        Kathleen

        Liked by 1 person

  3. izzy says:

    it’s okay i’ve had 32 cacti in my “lifetime”, though 6 died because i overwatered them oops..?
    yeS COCONUT SHARKS IN THE WATER.
    -izzy-

    Like

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      overwatering them would probably be the nicest way to murder them. it means you wanted them to be alive so much that you accidentally gave them too much love.

      THE BEST TWENTY ONE PILOTS SONG, AM I RIGHT.

      xo loren

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ellie @ On the Other Side of Reality says:

    YES THANK YOU, SOMEONE ELSE WHO DOESN’T LIKE THE BEACH. I agree that the smell of the ocean is nice, but heat makes my brain turn into a pile of mush.

    Best of luck with your math test, love <3 and with going to public school in general! If your parents won't be proud of you for you doing your best, that's their problem, not yours. I have a couple friends who switched to public school after a lifetime of homeschooling. Their experiences are that if you end up in a class below your ability level due to breaking down on the entrance exam, the school will almost always let you move into a more advanced class when they see that your grasp of the material is above your classmates'. And if your state is one that follows Common Core, I would highly recommend looking through an overview of your grade's Common Core math curriculum (if not Common Core, then whatever standardized math system your state might use). That's the curriculum your entrance test will most likely be based on. Good luck!!

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality

    Like

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      i mean, the ocean is beautiful, but everything else about the beach is pretty bad.

      thank you, ellie. i asked my mom if the school would let me move into a different class if i did well in the one i got put into first, and she thinks they probably would. so that’s rather comforting. i’ve been going through some math tests that are supposed to be similar to the one i’ll have to take, and that’s helping a bit. i’m still pretty nervous, though.

      xo loren

      Like

  5. Mya says:

    Aww, you are not a disappointment! You are so talented and have been given amazing gifts. Your artwork is way better than mine, your photography is stunning, and your writing is so good that I am sure I will see you on the bestsellers list. Don’t lose hope or give up, you are loved. I hope you feel more encouraged and happy soon! I will pray that you do well on your test.

    Like

  6. Allison says:

    OOH a pretty plant. C’mon little guy, be strong even in the face of imminent danger and possible death. Loren’s really quite nice once you get to know her, see? :P ♥
    YAYAYAY congratulations on 600 followers! That’s amazing! :D :D :D
    Heh heh, I hope you have a much better time on your vacation than you’re expecting. ;) I actually love the beach, but we hardly ever go there so… But cheer up, Loren – just focus on taking gorgeous pictures and remembering all the sad and happy and beautiful details so you can make some lovely posts for your dear ducklings, and maybe it will be worth it. :)
    And *gulp*. Public school?! Wow, that will be a big change! I haven’t been homeschooled all of my life, but I’ve only ever gone to private school otherwise. Best wishes for your entrance exam and the next school year! Aww, I’m sure it can seem like that sometimes, but that doesn’t mean it’s true! I’m *positive* they love you even if you feel impossible to love. And of course you might not be as good at some things as your brother, but you’re also a lot better at other things than he is, I’m sure! You’re wonderful at photography, writing, and so many other things, and I’m sure you’re parents are proud of you for the talents you do have. ♥
    I’m praying for you, dear! Keep your head up. ♥

    Like

  7. G says:

    Hello. I found your blog. Actually, I remember when you created this blog. I had an American girl doll blog. I just wanted to let you know, you are not a disappointment. Your subscribers are all here for you and we all love you so much. You are amazing and things are gonna get better❤️❤️
    -G❤️

    Like

  8. Geeky_Girl says:

    I feel the math pain! I’m not the best either. Trust me Loren your not a disappointment you got it girl. :D I really want a little plant too.. I kill all plants though… :P
    -Geeky_Girl <3

    Like

  9. Daisy Paquet says:

    Ugh, math. *shudders* *hyperventilates*

    You will never be a disappointment in God’s eyes.

    Also- *looks into mirror* *cocks head* I am the prettiest princess in all the la-
    Nope, just can’t do it.
    *looks back into mirror* I am the weirdest weirdo in all the land.
    *nods*
    I prescribe doing that once a day.

    YOUR PLANT, HE’S ADORABLE! sorry i love plants. I kill them too easily though… *sighs*

    Like

  10. mckenna says:

    AND WHAT VAWELNCLAEJFJKSDF 600 FOLLOWERS?!?!? duuuuuude congrats! that’s amazing. i only need 594 more then i’ll be caught up to you XD

    ☾☼

    xenoloser

    Like

  11. Rutvi says:

    COCONUT COCONUT SHARKS IN THE WATER!
    Omg Loren no, you are NOT a disappointment. Your family does love you. I feel that way sometimes too. I hate being compared to my also-brilliant brother. Parents shouldn’t do that-it places stress on everyone. Hang in there Loren. All your frens (yep, I just did that😂) are here for you.

    Beautiful quote, den mother!
    I love your plant, btw.

    -rutvi

    Like

  12. olivehiddenhollow says:

    loren, you’re NOT a disappointment! you are an amazing person, and don’t let anyone else say otherwise. God loves you, and hes proud of you. :)
    ooh, that beach sounds awesome. I hope you have fun anyway! :) awww, what a cute little plant. <3 600 followers??? *jaw drops* awesome! owch, school. if I had my way, I would home school the rest of my life, do an online collage, and get a job where I can work from home. but then I wouldn't get to be a doula. hmm.
    Most crazily, ~Olive

    Like

  13. Clara says:

    I took the SAT at a college today, and I’m not that good at math either. Plus I was sick and exhausted. So I’m sure you’ll do much better on your test than I did, if that’s any encouragement. :) I’ll pray for you!

    – Clara <3

    Like

What's on your mind?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s