// it’s called ukulele screamo and it’s art //

because you’re clearly not a real twenty one pilots fan until you post pictures of your ukulele on your blog.

and, yes, i did pick wildflowers and cover the ukulele with them just for these photos.

i can’t even play the ukulele. yet. i’m trying to figure it out, but i’m not very good at playing instruments. i get frustrated too easily. but i’m going to try to learn it over the summer, since i don’t have much else to do. i want to be able to play the only exception by paramore, stomache tied in knots by sleeping with sirens, and can’t help falling in love (a song that has grown to mean the world to me. thanks, n.).

i’ve been playing it for a little bit each day, and my fingers already hurt like heck. i don’t know how people who play string instruments exist. they have too much endurance for one person. i know that i’ll get calluses on my fingertips if i play enough, but it hurts right now and i am in so much pain. (i’m being a little bit dramatic, but that’s just how i keep my life from being incredibly boring. also, i’ve been in one play and two musicals, so that gives me the right to be dramatic, yeah? i’m being sarcastic, by the way.)

i’m just going to talk about my awful music teachers now.

mrs. t

so. i always wanted to play the flute. and one year, my mom decided that my brother and i should learn to play an instrument, as part of our school. i, of course, chose flute, and my brother picked drums. we found an old homeschool mom who knew how to play pretty much every instrument invented, and we took lessons from her once a week. her name was mrs. t. this was a  m i s t a k e, let me tell you.

when we arrived at her house for the first time, her two sons were playing basketball in the driveway. there was a dilapidated playhouse which was being claimed by the wild. we went into her house, and there was this really distinct and overwhelming smell. it was kind of like homemade spaghetti sauce with way too many fresh herbs in it. mrs. t was a plump lady with white hair that looked like a bunch of cotton balls glued to her head, and she had this slightly evil, strained smile. the only good thing was that she had lots of cats, and they would walk into the room while i took my music lesson and lay on the sheet music.

my brother’s lesson was first, so my mom and i spread out a blanket in the shade and did school until it was my turn. it was nearly impossible to focus, though, because of the racket my brother was making. he was pretty awful, honestly — hesitant taps, unsteady rhythm, etc. the worst part was that he thought he was really good, because he finished his book of sheet music way before i finished mine. but he didn’t need to learn notes and fingering and how to breathe properly.

anyway, my first lesson was incredibly awkward. i barely talked at all, because i hated how her house smelled and i didn’t want to breathe it in if i could help it. well, breathing is kind of important when playing a wind instrument, i’m not sure if you guys knew that.

mrs. t spent the first lesson teaching me how to put the flute together, how to clean and hold it, and how to get a crisp sound to come out of it. the flute smelled like my grandma’s nasty little schnauzer dog, by the way.

i realized a few things after that first lesson: flute is a lot harder than it looks, i would never be able to eat homemade spaghetti sauce again, and i really did not like mrs. t.

my mom made us stick with our instruments of choice for a year. by the time i got to quit flute lessons, the most impressive thing i could play was two lines of camptown races. i was very happy to quit, and although i still have my flute, i have barely touched it since then.

mrs. u

the two other music teachers i can remember were both from my co-op: mrs. u and mrs. c. mrs. u wasn’t a bad teacher, just a little too enthusiastic. she directed the musical that our co-op performed every other year, and i got the main role the first year i was old enough to audition. i played zoe (originally zach), the star of the basketball team who twisted her ankle before the big game. i had a fair amount of lines (snarky responses to other characters), but i mostly just got to sit there and look annoyed while everyone sang at me (i remember mckenna dancing around with a bible and basically telling me to change my attitude). the only song i got to sing in was the last one, after i had had a change of heart or whatever, and to this day, i will start singing it whenever someone says “everyday.”

mrs. c

mrs. c was a different story, though. she wrote the musical herself, and i don’t want to say that it was bad, but . . . i could have written a much better one. pup was one of the main characters for that musical. i was only part of the first act, so the practices were really quite boring for me. the only good things about that musical were that i got to laugh a lot with q and n during the practices, even though we got in trouble for it a few times. i also got to see n in a lot of dark eyeliner, which still stands as one of the most amusing things i’ve ever witnessed. i have lots more to say about this . . . slightly lacking musical, but that would be enough for a whole other post. i could write that, if you guys would be interested.

so, that pretty much sums up my experience with music classes. for someone who listens to music so much, it’s probably a bit surprising that i can’t play anything very well. hopefully i can become a little more than “absolute trash, seriously, why are you even trying” when it comes to ukulele.

i want to know about your awful teachers, because i’m sort of a bad person, i guess. so go ahead and rant about them in the comments, i won’t mind. 

xo

loren

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81 thoughts on “// it’s called ukulele screamo and it’s art //

  1. Samantha says:

    Storytime.
    In 5th grade, I had this teacher… hmm, he knows i have a blog, so I don’t want to name his real initial, so let’s call him… Mr.L. He wasn’t a horrible teacher, because I learned a ton in his class, but he was just mean and strange. There’s this sucky math program at my old school that I hate with every single cell within me. It’s ridiculous, because you have to solve dumb and confusing math problems for this penguin called JiJi. He loved JiJi, and I was like at 3% of my goal while the rest of the class was at 60% of their goal. So I was confused by one of the problems and I asked for his help, and when I still didn’t understand it because it was freakin’ confusing, he mumbled, “Well, Samantha, looks like you’ll never be a mathematician.”
    Excuse me? I can be whatever I want when I grow up! Well, duh, I never want be a mathematician, but what this stupid math program says about my 11 year old math skills doesn’t determine that!

    He also would always wear his glasses like an old lady, and when we would go out to PE he would put a single line of sunscreen down his nose and it would bother me so. much. And the in Fourth grade I had another teacher, and let’s call him Mr. D. He was just plain scary, and would just randomly yell at the class and make us feel horrible about ourselves when we were doing nothing wrong. And the one time he has us separate into different corners of the room,one for the people who got an A, a B, an F, and so on. I was in the A corner and there was this one little girl in the D corner and she was crying and I felt soo bad.
    I’ve had a horrible experience with male teachers.

    Sorry for the angry and sort of bitter rant
    ~Sam <3

    Liked by 3 people

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      i feel like you’ve talked about ji ji the penguin on your blog before, right? he sounds like a mean teacher, i hope he gets fired for trying to crush your dreams.

      just reading about the sunscreen thing bothers me so much. and mr. d sounds like a huge jerk. sometimes i wonder why people like that are allowed to work with kids.

      it’s ok, you dealt with my angry rants. :)

      xo loren

      Liked by 2 people

      • Samantha says:

        Yep I have. Yes, he should.

        It literally makes no sense, like if you even bother putting on sunscreen, you might as well put it on so it actually protects your skin. XD yes I suppose I did. :)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. olivehiddenhollow says:

    I ‘play’ the violin, and my teacher was actually pretty cool. He lived with his family, who always had a ton of pets, so I got to pet cats and dogs, stare at fish, and once I got to hold some baby bunnies. He also let me put stickers on my violin. The only problem was that he made me preform in front of a bunch of parents, and then left for collage. so yeah, I ‘play’ :P
    Most crazily, ~Olive

    Like

  3. izzy/mason says:

    thankfully you didn’t play the trumpet xD i always have bad luck around those things. plus, i play the flute and it’s actually fun once you get used to it. ;)

    my awful teachers: emo edition!
    mrs benoit (my french teacher): pfft you know the story.
    mrs. gregg (art): she liked some bands i like (blink-182, fob, a day to remember, nirvana, green day, and ptv) but was wayyyy to enthusiastic.
    mr. fry (math): i had a low grade in that class and every time i got a bad grade on a quiz he would call me out in the class. i’ve cried so many times there you have no idea.
    ms. loman (social studies): too strict lol.

    also i’m stealing your uke bye.

    -izzy/mason-

    Like

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      i liked playing flute, it was just that i didn’t like my teacher, so she kind of ruined it for me.

      ew, not your french teacher. *shudders*
      your art teacher sounds pretty cool. but overenthusiastic teachers (especially ones who try to make the class enthusiastic, too) usually just make you hate the subject.
      i get angry easily, so whenever a teacher calls me out about something, i usually get into an argument with them. which is probably why they all hate me. oh well.

      noooo i need my ukulele so i can impress n.

      xo loren

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Sarah says:

    lol your teachers sound . . . interesting XDD I’ve always had really good music coaches (except for when I was a super smol bean and it didn’t matter as much then lol).

    and GIRL YOU SHOULD PICK UP THE FLUTE AGAIN! just because that lady knows how to play doesn’t mean she can teach it . . . find a professional actual flute coach and get a good student flute. I played for three years when I was in middle school (our band was the top one in the state lol) and it was so great.

    Like

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      yeah, interesting is a good word. XD pretty much all of my teachers have hated me for some reason, which is absurd, because how could anyone hate me??

      i’d like to play flute again, so maybe i’ll try to join the band when i go to public school. :)

      xo loren

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Rutvi says:

    Lol, love this post.
    OMG OK BAD TEACHERS.

    I also had a Mrs. T, who never got my name right. She called me Roody, Ruby, and Roovee. And one time she gave everyone in our class a piece of chocolate. (spoiler alert, the chocolate sucked) everyone took a huge bite of chocolate, but it was SO bitter, and they expected it to be sweet. So we all just kind of glared at her. And another time this very annoyingly smart kid (his initials are TP for teacher’s pet) got 100% on a test and she made the whole class clap for him. Like, ???

    There’s this old historyteacher who apparently all the girls in my school think is a creep, and he also runs service club. I quit service club because of him. XD

    Liked by 1 person

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      thanks. :)

      ugh, i’ve been called lauren so many times, and it’s really annoying. like, it’s not that hard to pronounce someone’s name correctly? just ask if you don’t know how to say it.

      i really hope that some of the people in your class slow clapped.

      n’s dad used to teach p.e., and i think the only game he knew was japanese dodgeball. it got boring, so after awhile, the class revolted and came up with our own games. he was a weird teacher.

      xo loren

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Megan (A Barefoot Gal) says:

    Those pictures are so pretty!
    Mrs. U was pretty much the only music teacher I’ve had besides one in kindergarten that I don’t remember (I do remember playing some game similar to duck duck goose in that class though). I used to do piano and now I don’t even like the sound of it. *shivers* And I attempted to teach my self guitar but I kept doing things the wrong way and didn’t know it so I stopped. :P
    I don’t really recall bad teachers. There were definitely teachers that weren’t my favorite, but I didn’t really have bad ones. Although I didn’t like our puppet class teacher. And Mrs. B’s PE class could be brutal at times, but she wasn’t a bad teacher.
    ~Megan~

    Like

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      thanks. :)

      all of the music classes before we were old enough for the musical were bad. i must learn piano just so i can annoy you. >:) ugh, same. my mom was way better at guitar than me, and that was sort of discouraging.

      our puppet class teacher — was that the actual puppet class, or when we made puppets in art? yeah, mrs. b wasn’t bad, she was just way more athletic than most of her students. XD

      xo loren

      Like

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      it was pretty funny. i asked him to rub at his eyeliner after the show so he would look like the winter soldier, and apparently he did that after he got home. XD

      i would love to be in more musicals/plays, but there’s not really anyway for me to get involved in one, since i’ve left the co-op. but i’ll make sure to talk about it if i can find a way to be in another one. :)

      xo loren

      Like

      • Kathleen @dollsanddance says:

        Oh, haha! N sounds like a very funny person.

        Yeah. :/ I hope you can! I’m in the middle of one right now and I always have loads of fun. I’m sure you can search for other places nearby that do them?

        Kath

        Like

        • loren ☾ litost says:

          yeah, he is. :)

          ooh, sweet! what’s your musical called? i live in a pretty small town, so it might be hard to get involved in a musical/play before i go to public school. but i’ll look around anyway.

          xo loren

          Liked by 1 person

          • Kathleen @dollsanddance says:

            well, I’ve done several. I’m really hoping to do a contemporary musical soon – I did a fairly contemporary one but it was my first year. other than that they’ve been golden age ones. Oh, yeah. Well, you should definitely see if you can!

            Liked by 1 person

  7. The Joys Of Julia says:

    My band class is pretty much my home. My band teacher used to be really strict and annoying my first year in the ensemble, but the second year (this past school year) I moved up to the higher level ensemble and he was so much nicer and more chill with all of us! Its still kinda a love/hate relationship with band for me but its definitely more on the love side now!

    Also I had an English teacher two years ago who was DREADFUL. I despise her with all of my heart. She literally called me out infront of the entire class (and i have really bad social anxiety) and started lecturing me about “HOW DARE YOU BE ON YOUR PHONE DURING MY CLASS YOU TERRIBLE CHILD”. When in reality what she thought was “me being on my phone” was me drawing a flower on the back of my hand with a pen because i finished my work early. She saw me looking down and assumed that i was the embodiment of evil. So i just stood there, crying, while she screamed at me and when she was finally done I said, “but i wasn’t on my phone at all, i just drew this on my hand because i finished early” (and the other people sitting near me backed me up on this). But before even considering that she might be wrong and i might be telling the truth, she launched into another traumatic lecture about lying to a teacher. And then she held me back after class to scream at me some more and write a note to my parents, which made me late for my next class.
    It was terrible.
    She was definitely the worst teacher I ever had.
    ~Julia <3
    p.s. I also once had a teacher that talked to a sponge, but he wasn't a bad teacher, he was just weird XD

    Liked by 3 people

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      oh, that’s good that you like band more now. :) strict teachers are hard to deal with.

      i have social anxiety, too, and that sounds like a nightmare. she seems like a really awful teacher. i’m so sorry that happened to you.

      xo loren

      p.s. he sounds pretty interesting. XD

      Liked by 1 person

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      i love atl so much, you have no idea. XD ok, so n is a huge emo (and i say this in the nicest way), and he’s listened to pretty much every band in existence. but he didn’t know about atl, for some reason, and i introduced him to it and now he likes it and it is my one victory.

      xo loren

      Liked by 1 person

  8. mckenna says:

    i was going to post pictures of mine soon XD

    i taught myself how to play ukulele a couple months ago, and i guess i’m okay at it. N is so much better though. it took a while for my fingers to get used to playing. i’ve played it so much before the skin has come of my fingers and they’ve started bleeding…
    i guess that’s not good.
    but now i have callouses so it’s all good.
    ukulele is such a cute instrument though. i love it so much.
    we should get together some time and play together. it sounds great with two of them going. especially when they’re different sizes, and mine is a tenor so it would be great.

    Mrs. U was pretty enthusiastic. i remember her sitting us all in a circle and doing that one song ‘she’ll be comin round the mountain’ or whatever. and whenever that one part came about grandma’s scratchy red pajamas or the heck it was, i would always start to actually itch and it was awful.
    literally not even kidding just thinking about it right now it making my side itch.
    and then there was that one about apples with the part at the end ‘did you ever tell a lie?’

    I don’t remember dancing with a bible XD but my gosh i laughed out loud in my room when i read that part.

    the play with Mrs. C directing was…interesting.

    i haven’t done any musicals outside of co-op, but i’m signed up to do Les Misérables in the fall with one of my friends.

    wow that was a long comment. my apologies.

    ☾☼

    xenoloser

    Like

    • loren ☾ litost says:

      we must be on the same psychic wave. “great minds think alike” or whatever.

      i’m sure you’re wayyy better at ukulele than i am, anyway. n just has too much talent, it’s really not fair to the rest of us. that sounds fun, we should do that sometime. :) but the only song i can play is northern downpour, so it would probably just be you playing most of the time.

      i had nearly forgotten about those songs. remember the “mommy made me mush my m&ms” one?

      i think you were trying to point out a bible verse to me, but you were doing it very dramatically. XD

      it was sooo boring for anyone that wasn’t a mc. i would have died if it weren’t for q and n.

      ooh, les mis sounds super cool. :D

      it’s fine, my dear, i love long comments.

      xo loren

      Like

      • mckenna says:

        i guess so.

        he really does.
        i actually don’t know that song. and i don’t mean on the ukulele :/ but i can teach you some more songs. there are a couple that are literally the same three chords just repeated throughout the entire song.

        YES i do remember that. i never liked the voice warmups she would make us do. usually i would just move my lips and pretend and i was doing what everyone else was.

        i played nurse paula, but i still didn’t find it that fun. and the choir order was so messed up. everyone was everywhere and it just looked messy. i wished Mrs. U was directing it sometimes, but at the same time i didn’t.

        i’m excited for it :)) but i literally have no idea what the plot line is. i know zilch about the whole thing. but i did hear it’s mostly singing, so it should be fun.

        ☾☼

        xenoloser

        Like

  9. May @ Forever and Everly says:

    I didn’t have any bad teachers but reading your stories and the ones in the comments makes me feel so lucky. XD THOSE PICS ARE GORGEOUS and I hope you learn to play the ukulele! It’s such an underrated instrument. <3

    Like

  10. Abby Strangward says:

    I’ve been lucky enough to have some absolutely amazing music teachers, through piano, guitar and saxophone. I don’t play anything right now, but I miss them all very much and had a great time learning. I was very lucky!! I feel for you, though – the music teacher is so important to keep you interested.
    Abby – http://www.seafoaming.com

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Amanda says:

    In 5th grade I learned to play the flute. I was over it by the end of the year and wanted to quit, but my parents made me continue since we had bought the instrument and all. In 7th & 8th grade I had the worst teacher ever. She’d make you stand up in front of the whole class and play when you didn’t know the music or your instrument well. She’d start with the whole section and then figure out who the individual or individuals were. It was so humiliating! She made me hate the flute even more then I already did. Because of her, I rebelled and refused to practice. By the time I got to high school I was done playing the flute, but continued because my parents wouldn’t let me quit. I had a great band teacher in high school, but I had already given up on myself. Oh well. I loved singing though and am not bad at it. I would have loved to work on singing more.

    Liked by 1 person

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