// missed connections //

i am afraid that one day
 i will be married
and i will cry myself to sleep
because i didn’t end up with you
and you will always be
the boy i miss

-m i s s e d  c o n n e c t i o n s 


today was not great. i was late to my soccer game because some days it hurts too much to get out of bed. it was freezing this morning and i could barely move my fingers by the end of the game. my friend bailed on me and i had to go to a church event alone, where i spent three hours trying to entertain a loud, energetic child with a tiny attention span. when i came home, i found that a book had been left on the sidewalk and had gotten soaked by the rain. i tried to do schoolwork that was due earlier this week, but i couldn’t concentrate. my head hurt and i was tired. it took me five hours to write 500 words for nano, and they weren’t even good words.

i miss my friends and i miss being told that i am loved and i miss my camp and i miss yesterday’s sunset and i miss getting in the ocean at night and i miss when it didn’t hurt to wake up. life is all about missing things and people and moments.

my head still hurts. and this is just me venting with some sucky poetry. i’m sorry. i’ve been angry today and it feels good to write things down.

xo

loren

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30 thoughts on “// missed connections //

  1. olivehiddenhollow says:

    it’ll be ok loren, you ARE loved! by us and by God <3 <3 <3
    "Come to me, all who are wearied and burdened, and I will give you rest."
    Matthew 11:28

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Julia M says:

    I relate so much to this. Like I’m pretty sure I spend almost ALL of my time missing the past. Missing past friendships, past events, past lives of people that I loved, and past times of my life. It kinda sucks.
    ~Julia <3

    Like

  3. Lissa {Classic Girl} says:

    Sounds like a rough day. But things get better. There’ll always be another sunset. This post was somehow really beautiful.

    Like

  4. writeowl says:

    I’m glad you’re taking the time to write your feelings down and I’m glad that you feel better now. but remember: our feelings don’t define what is true and what isn’t. only God can do that ❤️

    ‘yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me…’

    Like

  5. Starling says:

    Hope you’re getting better, Loren! Yes, life can be full of crap at times, but if you survived, just shows you’re strong, girl! Don’t worry, God is always there for you. Sometimes, writing can express our emotions really well. Do you keep a journal? It would be great if you did, so that you can write whatever you want without people commenting on it (unless you want them to) Just make sure you keep it somewhere only YOU know so no one can get to it. Stay strong, Loren! xx

    Like

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