// moving sites | please read //

hey. i have news, good and bad.

here’s the bad: i won’t be blogging here anymore. 

don’t worry, i’m not leaving the blogosphere, and i won’t be deleting my site. but i feel like let’s be lost doesn’t really fit me anymore, i guess. it’s been around for about two and a half years, and i don’t like having posts from when i was a lot younger on here. they’re painful for me to think about, both because of the quality and the memories in them.

but here’s the good: i have a new blog. 

it’s called killjoy and you can find it here. i’d really appreciate it if you all would check it out and follow. it’s a personal blog, just like this one, so you can expect to see the same kinds of posts.

i’m honestly a bit sad about leaving let’s be lost, especially since it was finally nearing 1000 followers. i generally dislike change, so part of me is freaking out about moving on to something new, but i feel like this a good thing. i’ve exported some of my better posts from here to killjoy, so there’s already lots of content.

before i go, i want to say thank you for all the sweet comments and amazing followers i’ve gotten on this blog. you guys mean the world to me and i hope to see you over there.

anyway, i’m pretty excited about this. i think killjoy fits me really well and i’m glad to be starting from (mostly) scratch again.

so please go visit killjoy, follow, and give it some love. :)



// goals for 2018 //

i’m a bit late to the new year’s resolutions party, but it’s fine.

other than the first one, they’re all personal goals (instead of blogging goals), but you’ll definitely hear about them if i complete any.

let’s get into it. :)

reach 1000 followers

with 828 followers, i’m actually pretty close to this already.

i don’t like asking for followers, but maybe join the let’s be lost gang if you want to help a teenager with low self-esteem feel accomplished for once in her life? just a thought.

reach 50k in my novel

i have a pattern with my writing habits: write a ton for nano, and then take a break during december, promising that i’ll resume my story in january. but, of course, that never happens, so i have a bunch of half-finished novels lying around. hopefully this will be the year i keep working on my nano project.

(i’ve actually got 21k right now, whoop whoop.)

not cry on the first day of school

i’m going to high school full-time next year, and i’m not ready. like, at all. it will be a miracle if i don’t break down in a bathroom or the middle of class.

my main concerns are a) i look gross and i don’t always want people to look at me, and b) i’m not going to have any friends!! just hear me out on this. i already know a lot of people in my grade and none of them have expressed any interest in befriending me. why would that suddenly change next year? so i won’t have any buddies unless some upperclassman decides to take me under their wing because of how lonely i look.

learn to play drums

i plan on joining my school’s marching band, but apparently you need to be able to play an instrument to do that?? who knew. drum seems like the easiest, and i’ve always wanted to play, anyway. plus, i already have a drum (technically my brother’s) that i can practice on.

go to a concert

literally everyone i know has gone to a concert, even ones who aren’t into music and only tagged along because of a friend. i would definitely cry from happiness if i get the chance to see a band i like this year.

meet an internet friend

i’m looking at you, sam and rutvi. you guys are incredible and i love you and it sucks that you both live so far away from me.

go to camp

it’s pretty much guaranteed that i’ll be able to go to ahg camp again this year. it’ll be my third time there so i’ll be an experienced camper™. i’ll hopefully be able to get that rad rainbow knife that i couldn’t get last summer because one of the staffers overheard me and my friend discussing murder.

i’d also like to go to a place called camp victory with said friend. they do zumba every morning.

get better at drawing faces

i can sometimes draw faces, but they’re sort of cartoon-ish. i’d like to improve my skills so my people look more realistic.

get better at gymnastic

my brother and i did gymnastic together for years when we were younger, and i just started going again this week. it’s not as hard as i remembered, which is probably a good thing. i’d like to stick with gymnastic for the entire year and finally get down my back handspring, which i had almost mastered when we quit.

make a new friend

i don’t think i made a single friend in 2017 that i’ve seen regularly. in fact, i kind of lost some instead. hopefully i’ll make a friend at my school so i don’t have to do high school by myself.

read 100 books

this doesn’t sound that difficult, but i only read about fifty books last year due to a huge reading slump, so we’ll have to see.

goodreads tells me i’m one book ahead of schedule but i think it’s lying.

so there you have it. everything i want to achieve in 2018. some of them are too outlandish for me to actually accomplish (i’m looking at you, not crying at school and making a friend), but some of them seem attainable? maybe? who knows.

do we have any of the same goals? what’s something you want to do in 2018? let me know in the comments. :)



// life, i guess //

// inspired by the lovely rutvi //

– i’m making an effort to write in my journal again. i’m usually too tired to write anything by the time i get into bed, but my insomnia has been getting really bad lately, which gives me plenty of time to work on it.

– i got a tooth pulled and the entire left side of my face was numb. i couldn’t feel my ear. i even slapped myself a few times and couldn’t feel anything. the numbness didn’t go away for over six hours.

– we played kahoot in math class and my nickname was “jazz band jazz” (deh reference), and someone else was “ya like jazz? 🐝” so it worked out pretty well.

– i get really bad anxiety about posting things on instagram, but i recently managed to share this picture of my neighbor’s dog, ruby. is it dumb that i’m proud of that?

– i have a “folder of shame” on my ipod where i write down dumb things that i’ve said/heard. here’s what i have so far:

“i like school because people are forced to hang out with me.” -a kid in my spanish class

“everyone has pet names for their nipples.” -my brother

“i don’t have a favorite student. i dislike all of you equally.” -my spanish teacher

“my hair is as kinky as you are.” -me, to my brother

“pal is too intimate of a term.” -also me

– i’ve reached 17k on my novel! my mc, taz, is currently attempting to rescue keirnan from what is possibly a cult. idk, i’m making it up as i go. i’m just really glad that i’ve been writing throughout december, because i usually take a “break” after nano, which means never touching my project again.

– i got some new art supplies!! they’re staedtler marker pens and they’re so so nice. i’ve been on a drawing kick because of them. and the cool thing is that i got them for free, because my mom has a $100 gift card to an art store as a thank you for teaching classes at co-op for over a decade.


– why can’t group chats ever be normal?

– my friend q from co-op has been texting me “stranger things?” every hour. i’ve been ignoring him for a week. but i might have to see him soon and it’s going to be really awkward, because how do i explain that i like him well enough but i really don’t want to talk to him? help.

– i had to take a math test today, and i’m 90% sure that i failed. which sucks a lot because i just got my grade up to a b and now it’s going to be ruined. :’)



// gem museum //

hey, guys! i hope your day is going well.

for science class, my friend izzy and i visited a local mineral museum. it’s part of a college, so it’s not very big, but i was still quite impressed. i took a few pictures of the gems and wanted to share them with you.

here’s the museum itself.

i’ve always had a thing for gems and smooth stones. not as much the stylized ones that are used in jewelry, but raw ones, or polished ones that fit perfectly in the dip of your palm. it amazes me that such complex shapes and gorgeous colors are being created under our feet.

i’ve found quartz in my garden, and it always excites me that they were growing in the dirt along with my plants.

stone roses.

these look like dragon eggs or jawbreakers. i know that they’re rocks and that they’ll shatter my teeth if i try to eat them, but i kind of want to try one anyway.

they’re just so pretty?? help.

this one looks like someone painted it with watercolors.

there was a display under ultraviolet lights, so the rocks, which looked normal in regular lighting, glowed neon colors. :D

i saw some really awful geology jokes on the internet, and i thought you guys should suffer with me, so here you go.

q: what do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

q: anyone know a joke about sodium?
a: na

q: what do you do with a dead chemical?
a: you barium
(and then cry because this reminds you of my chemical romance.)

i feel like such a nerd.

have a good day, my friends! you look great and you are loved.



// q&a answers | part four //


i’m doing a q&a post today, because despite having nearly forty drafts, i “don’t have anything else to post!!”

sam‘s questions:

what is your favorite tree?

weeping cherries! when i was younger, my brother and i took swimming lessons at a college pool. there was a lovely weeping cherry outside the building, and i remember dancing under it while the petals tumbled down and caught in my wet hair.

i also like pines and weeping willows.

watercolor or color pencils?

i use both, but i prefer colored pencils. i have a much wider range of colors, and they’re easier to control.

three favorite christmas movies?

the nightmare before christmas. i love that one so much. but i never know if i should watch it on halloween or christmas, so i do both. that’s really the only christmas movie i like. all the others that i’ve seen are too cheesy.

have you finished courageous hearts?

ugh, i have not. i haven’t been able to work on it at all since nano 2016, because the laptop broke.

Related image

favorite youtuber?

the only youtuber i really watch is dodie clark (her channels are doddlevloggle and doddleoddle). she’s lovely and funny and has an amazing style, and i like her music. i’m also subscribed to kati morton, she makes mental health/psychology videos. and sometimes i watch good mythical morningpeanutbuttergamer, and game theory with my brother.

fuzzy socks or fleece blanket?

i like wrapping myself up in a blanket and becoming a blanket burrito.

do you like white chocolate?

i used to like white chocolate, but then everyone told me that it was gross and fake chocolate, so i stopped eating it. thanks, society.

what is your favorite baskin robbins ice cream flavor?

Following the announcement of production beginning for Antman and the wasp, The real question everyone was asking is if everyone’s favorite Baskin-Robbins manager Dale will appear again.

i’ve never been to baskin robbins. so there you go.

do you have any plans for this summer?

since summer is over, i’ll just list some of the things i did.

i went to a co-op picnic that was sort of a last hurrah for my class, my friends convinced me to go to a field day with them, i explored a swimming holewent to emerald isle on vacation, ran a 5k, went to summer camp, celebrated b‘s birthday, and went to the fair.

would you rather be a unicorn or a mermaid?

i’ve always had a love for mermaids that i haven’t really grow out of. i have a mermaid tail and mermaid-length hair (aka long enough that i wouldn’t have to wear a top). so definitely a mermaid (although my nickname was unicorn at one point. thanks, k.).

do you like starbucks?

i’ve never actually had starbucks, so i don’t think i can answer this. i’m not really a fan of coffee, anyway. but i guess they put so much other stuff in that it doesn’t really taste like coffee anymore.

what animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?


can you imagine having a tiny dragon? it would sleep in your lap and light candles for you and you could put a leash on it and take it on walks! T I N Y  D R A G O N S, GUYS.

what weird food combinations do you really enjoy?

i will eat peanut butter on pretty much anything. cornbread? check. cookies? check. ice cream? check. just give me something with peanut butter on it and i’ll probably like it.

what food is delicious but a pain to eat?

 i have braces, so everything is kind of a pain to eat. food gets stuck in my braces and chewing hurts like heck if the bands have been tightened. r.i.p. loren.

what was the last photo you took?

this one. it’s from the veteran’s day parade my ahg troop was in. izzy and i were in the front, and we carried a banner that said “home of the free, because of the brave.” random people watching the parade kept telling us to smile so we’d be prettier. that was strange.

what is the most amazing slow motion video you’ve seen?

idk, pal, i don’t remember every slow-mo video i’ve watched in my life.

where are some unusual places you’ve been?

longwood gardens. when i was in pennsylvania this spring, my mom and i visited an enormous garden that had lakes, a meadow, bizarre and amazing tree houses, etc.

☼ the rock-throwing range. at camp, there’s a dilapidated area beside the main road. there are thick poles stuck into the ground, with sheets of metal attached to them. there’s a mound of gravel in front of the poles, which you can use as ammunition. the rock-throwing range feels slightly disconnected from the rest of the world, especially when it’s dusk and all you can hear is the ping of rock against metal and muttered expletives when you miss.

 ☼ a cafe downtown. i’ve always been fascinated by it. i’ve never actually been inside, though. it has vibrant, picasso-style murals all over the walls.

☼ sunflower field. not too far from my house is a huge field. the owners plant sunflowers in it, so many sunflowers blooming and exuding joy that you feel as if you are in a van gogh painting. you’re allowed to walk through the field and pick flowers for a small fee, although i’ve never had a chance to do it.

☼ fairy stone state park. i went on vacation there one time. it seemed quite normal: trees, lake, critters, etc. the sort of things you would expect to find at any state park. but you can find tiny rocks there that are shaped like crosses. one day after it rained, we drove to a gas station and searched through the muddy bank of a stream. the fairy stones had been stirred to the surface by the runoff. the legend of the fairy stones is that an elven messenger came to the forest to tell the fairies there about the death of Christ. their tears, upon reaching the ground, morphed into beautiful stone crosses.

ms. agdoll’s questions:

what’s your favorite season?

autumn! there are so many wonderful things about autumn, it’s almost not fair to the other seasons. the pretty colors, perfect temperature, halloween, apple cider, etc. and autumn brings soccer, my youth group’s weekend retreat, and nanowrimo.

favorite drawing instrument?

my mom has these super thin markers called staedtler pigment liners. i use them in most of my drawings, for outlining and writing.

what do you think of ag’s newest doll?

at this point, i don’t even know who the newest doll is.

favorite summer activities?

sitting in a spot of sunlight on the porch and drawing. making flower crowns. listening to albums on repeat, so that whenever i listen to them, i will be transported back to this summer. picking fruit and making smoothies out of it. stretching out in a patch of sun and reading.

favorite author?

here are a few off the top of my head:

rebecca stead
jodi lynn anderson
pseudonymous bosch
cressida cowell
shannon messenger

what’s the longest trip you’ve ever taken?

when i went to myrtle beach for the weekend to visit my mom’s best friend from high school. it took us around ten hours to get there because my mom got lost. what fun. :)

day or night?

nighttime, no doubt. music and books somehow mean more to me when it’s the middle of the night. you can actually hear yourself think in the darkness. and i enjoy going outside at night, because i can breathe and watch the stars. everything is calm and mysterious.

have you ever stayed up all night?

oh, yes, many times. i pulled about four all-nighters in july. the first time i ever stayed up all night, i think, was at an ahg lock-in at a climbing gym. izzy was there, and our friend emily from summer camp. we spent the night bouldering, eating pizza, and making up an insane story about bob the tiger, who married anias the unicorn.

how many books do you have? XD XD

you’re really going to make me count all of my books? what kind of twisted joke is this?

. . .

there are 103 books on the floor of my bedroom. i really need a bookshelf.

do you like tea?

yes, of course! i love having it on those gloomy days that drag on forever, or when i’m writing. my favorite kind that we have in the house is either english breakfast or peppermint.

about how much time do you spend on the computer every day?

at least twenty-seven hours a day.

favorite school subject?

i like astronomy, p.e. (my co-op’s p.e. was just running/playing soccer), and art.

have you ever picked up a frog? (or anything similar :p)

one time my brother’s dumb fish jumped out of the tank. he was freaking out too much to do anything, so i had to pick the fish up and toss it back in.

oh, and my first kiss was with a fish, so that’s pretty gross.

i have to do math homework, but i missed two days of school because i was sick, so i have no idea how to do it. also, i’m just bad at math in general. and i need to work on nano and go to a baby shower and study for a spanish quiz and a science quiz, but i’m procrastinating by doing this instead. please send help.



// 33 questions //

aesthetic space | Tumblr

sorry for the lack of posts. i have ideas but no motivation.

i found this list of questions on pinterest and decided to give it a try.

1) do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?

not particularly. i’m sure having a partner is nice, but i don’t spend my time wishing i had one. i have friends who love me and that’s enough.

2) when did your last hug take place?

i think it was on sunday, i was trying to annoy n with my affection.

3) are you a jealous person?

sometimes. not in the “i wish i had her looks” kind of way, but “those people look like they really enjoy each others company. i wish i were that close with someone.”

4) are you tired right now?

when am i not tired?

5) do you chew your straws?

yep, always have. i don’t mean to do it. it’s just a habit, i guess. it bothers everyone i know.

6) have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

i’m sure i have. i’m more likely to pull an all-nighter than to get a healthy amount of sleep.

7) do you cry easily?

heck yeah. but not because of things that are supposed to make me cry, usually, like getting hurt or watching a really sad movie. i cry when i’m mad and when i’m tired. or because someone said something nice to me or because the moon is pretty.

8) what should you be doing right now?

a science quiz that i was supposed to do last week. you know, i think i get the most done on my blog when i’m supposed to be doing schoolwork.

9) are you a heavy sleeper?

not really. one time i went to sleep with my earbuds in, and they fell out sometime during the night and got squished under me. they were still playing music softly and that’s what woke me up.

10) do you think you can last in a relationship for six months?

idk. if the person actually enjoys being around me, probably. i’ll update you on this if i ever date someone.

11) are you mad at someone right now?

myself, because i’m bad at painting my nails. my friend izzy, because a few weeks ago she said that my cookies looked gross. my mom, because she thinks public school is a lovely environment. the whole world in general, because i have anger issues.

12) do you believe in love?

yeah. i think platonic love is more important most of the time, but romantic love is nice, too, and definitely real.

13) what makes you laugh no matter what?

bad puns.

14) who was the last person you talked to?

my mom. she was calling me a smartaleck.

15) do you get butterflies around the person you like?

idk. sometimes my right leg will shake, but that’s not the same thing as butterflies.

16) will you get married?

i hope so. i’m don’t daydream about it, but i would like to get married at some point.

17) when was the last time you smiled?

when i was at the mall this afternoon with my mom. we were looking for pins and patches for my jacket and she found one with a three-eyed cat and the words “not normal.”

18) does anyone like you?

yep, and i like him, too.

19) do you secretly like someone?

it’s not much of a secret anymore.

20) who was the first person you talked to today?

mum. i think she was asking if i’d finished my homework.

21) who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my friend n is pretty nonjudgmental.

22) what are you not looking forward to?

getting my braces off. i got a bracket replaced yesterday, and to get the old one off, the orthodontist used pliers to rip it out and then scraped the glue off my tooth. it hurt a lot.

23) what are you looking forward to?

halloween! my brother and i are going to be dressed as dipper and mabel pines from gravity falls.

24) has anyone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?

i hope he meant it.

25) suppose you see your ex kissing another person. what would you do?

1) i don’t have an ex. 2) if i did, who they’re kissing wouldn’t be any of my business.

26) do you plan on moving out within the next year?

nah, i’ll still be a minor. but i’m going to move out as soon as i can. just a few more years to go.

27) are you a forgiving person?

depends on what you mean to me. my friends could hurt me and i’d be the one saying sorry. but if it’s someone i don’t like, they could simply touch my arm and i’d hold a grudge against them for years.

28) how many true friends do you have?

four. that’s enough for me.

29) do you fall for people easily?

nope. i know people who have a new crush weekly, but you’ve got to be someone really amazing that i’ve known for awhile before i could fall for you.

30) have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? 

still don’t have an ex. and definitely not.

31) what’s the last thing you put in your mouth?


32) who was the last person you drove with?

mum. we were going to an ahg meeting.

33) how late did you stay up last night and why? 

12:30-ish, i think? maybe later? and it’s because i’m an insomniac. (although i took some sleep medication and that’s why i fell asleep at midnight instead of 3 a.m.)

i’m thinking about changing my theme. i’ve had this one since i started my blog. i found a theme that i like (suits), and i’m playing around with headers right now. i don’t know for sure that i’m going to change the theme, and if i do, i might change it back after awhile. but i really like the way suits looks.

i hope you all had a good day and i’ll try to post something better soon.