// band merch collection //

hey! i thought i’d show you guys all the band merch that i’ve collected over the years. i think i found most of it at hot topic, so if you see something you like, check out their online store.

by the way, i’m not trying to brag or anything like that. i’m just sharing my collection.

behold, my one panic! shirt. it’s a muscle tee (apparently some people call that style “bro tanks.” i’m still laughing about it) and very comfortable.

of course i have tøp merch.

they did a concert nearby at the beginning of the year, and half the people i know went, but i couldn’t. i am still bitter about it. :’)

yep, i still love beanies. they’re so cozy. but this one looks better on my friend n than it does on me, and i’m not ok with that.

ft. my ukulele, which i love very much.

idk if you can tell from the picture, but this is a bag. it’s pretty roomy and it’s got pockets on the inside (!!). a girl complimented me on it when i was at the movie theater with my friends.

i like this one because this shade of blue looks fricken amazing on me.

this one is kind of simple, but it looks great with a flannel, so it’s all good.

i was hunting for pins a few days ago and found this fall out boy one. it’s on my denim jacket now with a few other cute pins.

i’m pretty sure i’ve posted about this jacket before, but whatever. it’s too big on me, and that’s fine because i usually wear oversized clothes anyway.

and here’s the back. :)

i love the colors on this one! the lyrics are from the song runaways. (jealous, rutvi? ;) )

this one is a tank top that i accidentally  stretched out during a 5k this summer (thanks to lots of mud and ice water and cinder blocks ). it looks like the mtv logo and that’s pretty cool.

i ordered this one off amazon, i think. i really want to color it in with sharpies, but i know that i’d mess it up.

i only have one mcr shirt and it’s really a huge problem. my principal, of all people, complimented me on it. i know him from church and he usually says hello to me while i’m walking to class, or he’ll ask how my day was when i’m waiting to be picked up. it’s a little weird, but i’m getting used to it.

i’m thinking about getting oh wonder merch next, or maybe dodie or the front bottoms. i don’t really know. but i just blew most of my money on books (i got seven new ones in one day, help me), so it probably won’t be anytime soon.

i hope you all have a good day!




// sketchbook #4 //

hello, friends. :) i pulled an (unintentional) all-nighter, and it’s only 9:30, but i’m already tired. yay. my search history from about six a.m. includes “america’s murder capitals,” “baby honey badger,” and “when did the lion king come out.” we have fun here.

anyway, i have some more drawings to show you. they were all completed within the past few days. i guess i’ve been on an art kick.

 afterglow // all time low

the boy looks like this guy who lives down the road and threw me into a pond when i was about four. he also stole my hat. he also goes to school with my brother. he also has a younger brother who made a giant oreo by stuffing a heck ton of cream between two cookies.

that paragraph had absolutely nothing to do with my drawing. oh well.

 fell for you // green day

it looked better in my head, ok?

there’s a green day album called revolution radio, and that’s where this came from. i kind of want to make a similar one for danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys by my chemical romance (bureau // gerard way came on shuffle and i started laughing, because whAT THE HECK, GERARD).

rainbow connection // sleeping at last (cover)

this one was fun, because rainbow strings of fate and love and hearts and all that jazz, but also very stressful, because HANDS. fricken hands. they will be the death of me.

sunrise // our last night

for someone who is so bad at painting sunrises/sunsets, i sure do make them a lot. i’ve been meaning to do something like this ever since i heard the song, and i finally got around to doing it this morning.

since i was awake all night, i decided to make the most of it and watch the sunrise. i got some pictures, although they’re a little blurry. but, you know, my photos being bad quality never stopped me from posting them. :D

poem that i couldn’t find an author to give credit to.

den mother asked me to paint a galaxy for her, and this is what i created. i made a copy to give to her so i could put the original in my sketchbook (so i’m selfish, i guess).

i’ve been awake for so long. send help. or just a soft blanket and a lot of pillows. it would be appreciated.



// sketchbook #3 //

flowers from a patch of wildflowers in our garden (i’ll post pictures of that soon), and the lyrics of would you be so kind by dodie. my hand hurt a lot by the time i finished this.

i drew this one right after i heard the song drugs & candy, from all time low’s new album.

lyrics from last young renegade by all time low, plus a weird bullet journal sort of thing.

“alternatives to self-harm: snap a rubber band on your arm. hold an ice cube. draw on yourself. make a playlist. tear up paper. break sticks. paint your arms red. take a hot shower. youtube funny videos. hug a pillow. call a friend. write out the lyrics of a favorite song. play with something squishy. go for a run. google ‘the butterfly project.’ pull weeds. say ‘this feeling will pass.'”

lyrics from kids in the dark by all time low, and a list of alternatives for anyone who needs it. :) (can you tell i really like all time low?)


i can’t draw eyes or eyelashes, but . . . i made this thing! it was rather fun! i used lyrics from when the day met the night by panic! at the disco. (although it should have been “all was golden when the day met the night” — “in the sky” wasn’t supposed to be there, but oh well.)

“it feels like it should still be that day in seventh grade when i realized you mean the world to me. nothing feels real without you. i forget how to breathe from time to time when you’re next to me, and it helps me to understand that i am alive. how do you make my heart beat so quickly, when i don’t want it to beat at all? // june 8th, 2017”


i used watercolor.

cute girl with weirdly long arms + lyrics from ultralife by oh wonder.

 idk what this is. i just slapped some flowers on the page and doodled around them.

in case you can’t tell, i like using song lyrics in my art. when i don’t know what to draw, i’ll put my music on shuffle, pick a lyric i like from the first song that comes on, and base my art off that. it’s a pretty good to way to fend off artist’s block.



// last young renegade //

All Time Low Last Young Renegade


all time low, a band that you should definitely listen to, came out with a new album called last young renegade. i forgot that it was being released on june 2nd, and when i remembered, i freaked out and listened to the whole thing at ten thirty when i was supposed to be sleeping. listening to this felt like falling in love. i just sat there and closed my eyes and let the music fill me up. new music is so exciting. :D

i wanted to write something about this F A N T A S T I C gift to the music world, but i thought “hey, mate, listen to this album and you will be blessed. please and thank you.” would be a bad post. so i came up with a different way to convince you to listen to last young renegade. i listed all the songs here, along with my favorite lyrics and a bunch of things that each song makes me think of. it would be cool if you read each list while listening to the song that goes with it (the whole album is on youtube. that’s pretty rad.), but you don’t have to, obviously. you really should, though.

I just drove past this intersection and it’s pouring rain and just look at how eerily beautiful it looks


last young renegade. | you were the best thing ever happen to me // and i’ll keep on fighting just to make you believe | brown eyes. being afraid of losing someone. fighting the urge to kiss. sitting in the sunshine. hearing someone’s name and remembering everything they ever said. “i am so in love with you.” sitting outside early in the morning. wanting to run. clumsy, eager hugs. 

this little bit of marina joyce just proves how much better i am... now shut your mouth and finish sucking on your lollipop:


drugs & candy. | you’ve got me out of my head // i got the beat of the breakdown | being bored of everything. crushes. hastily told secrets. unintentional eye contact. long summer days of doing nothing. sitting in the only patch of shade. silent thank yous.



dirty laundry. | her closet’s such a mess // filled up with all the skeletons she’s kept | the headache you get when the lights are suddenly turned on. feeling numb. watching someone from across the room. figuring out someone’s secret. a heavy feeling in your chest. struggling to wake up. 



good times. | underneath the stars we came alive // and singing to the sky just felt right | empty parking lots at night. wondering if this is the last time you’ll see someone. when you’re so tired that everything is funny. the ache in your bones when you sprint on asphalt. sitting against a wall and laughing over old jokes. faded camp shirts full of signatures. blurry photographs. “i’m gonna miss you guys.”



nice2knoU. | one more time for second chances // we just want to do some damage | seeing an old friend and having nothing to say. noticing that someone has changed. rebellion. searching the crowd for someone who has already left. avoiding goodbyes. collecting emails on a scrap of paper. sleepaway camp. convenience stores.



life of the party {explicit}. | and it’s four in the morning, i’m just trying to fix myself | being annoyed for no reason. trembling with anger. when someone bumps into you and doesn’t apologize. smalltalk. feeling fake. being unable to sleep in an unfamiliar place. yelling at someone you love. regret.



nightmares. | i gotta say it’s hard to be brave // when you’re alone in the dark | hearing something you didn’t want to. four a.m. a damp pillow. shaking. trying to forget someone. shadows distorting a familiar room. dreading going home. realizing that no one really knows you. smiling just to stop the tears from falling.



dark side of your room.| this moment feels like an echo // we’ve done this dance a thousand times | laughing even though your feelings are hurt. friends who are controlling. your turn during truth or dare. seeing someone you tried to forget. stripes of light coming through the blinds. feeling nothing towards someone you used to love.



ground control. | my systems are critical // gotta find my way back to you | feeling like something is wrong, but not knowing what it is. hugging a pillow and pretending it’s a person. knowing you’ll be ok, just not right now. falling asleep in the car. doing something even though you’re scared. homesickness. “you mean everything to me.”



afterglow. | king and queen of the streets again // got young love running through our veins | receiving flowers. holding hands for the first time. gentle rainstorms. feeling like home is a person. hugs where no one wants to let go first. falling in love with your best friend. long walks going no where. silence that means something.

the entire album gives me an all-nighter with friends, summery kind of vibe, and i freaking love it. my favorite songs from it are, at the moment, last young renegade, good times, and nice2knoU. lyrically, it’s pretty different from their previous album, future hearts. the songs from that one felt deeper and sadder, although they still had that summer vibe i associate with all time low.