// the last day //

yesterday was the last day of co-op. i’ve got a lot of feelings about this, so i’m putting them on the internet, to be read by people who don’t care.

i’ve been in this co-op since i was three. every friday for nearly my whole life, i would show up at the church and have classes with a bunch of other homeschool kids. now i’m too old for the co-op, and i’m never going to spend another friday with my classmates again.

there are a lot of things i’m not going to miss: waking up early, doing p.e. in the cold, getting hunger pains because i forgot breakfast, the overwhelming feeling of being with people for hours. but i am going to miss trading notes during class and laughing over dumb jokes and squeezing my friends into the car so we can hang out after co-op. and i’ll miss seeing those people every week. they’ve been part of my life for so long, and now they’re gone.

“you never know what you have until you lose it.”

i’m glad that the co-op decided to make yearbooks. i want to remember these people.

on the back: “you’re smart, funny, sweet, dear, amazing, cool, talented, kind, helpful, honest, ship crazy, and the best friend in the world. i love you so much and i never want to lose you. ♥ -kelsie ♥” (aka pup)

one of my teachers made us write our name on a piece of paper and pass it around the table. everyone had to write something nice on it. i’m a rather sentimental person, so believe me when i say that i am never getting rid of this paper.

i want to write a note to everyone who has been in my class — even the ones who are gone, but who i’ve never forgotten. i don’t forget people. and sometimes that hurts, because they forget me.

so, anyway. here i go.

dear d,

ew.

dear s,

thanks for introducing me to people when i was the new kid.

dear m,

remember that time you cracked your head against the wall and had to get stitches? the blood spots are still there. that’s your legacy.

dear j,

i never knew you very well. you were the smart girl with all the answers, and i was the quiet one who shook whenever the teacher asked me a question.

dear i,

i haven’t seen you in awhile. i don’t really expect to ever see you again. but we had a good couple of years.

dear s,

people still ship us. i’m not sure why, because i never even liked you. but i’ve been called loren breen many, many times.

dear h,

i kind of regret never getting to know you. all i really remember about you is that you liked horses, and you’re cousins with N, and you’re a good soccer player, and you look nice in lavender.

dear N,

i told you that i would fight the universe to be with you again. i’m always willing to fight, and this should actually be a challenge. but it will be worth it, in the end.

i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry.

dear h,

you’re always going to be remembered by the video where t is humming uptown funk and you burst in with “sweet home alabama!”

dear t,

i tried to draw you in art class, and it ended up looking like troye sivan.

you’re a jerk, by the way. i’ve come very close to punching you on multiple occasions. it’s fine that you hate me, but you’ve got to stop making fun of the people that i love.

dear j,

idk. sorry for shipping you with h, i guess. i’m not sorry, actually, joward is my otp.

dear h,

you’re kind of a nerd, but i am, too, so it’s cool. you’re pretty popular with the mom crowd — my friends’ parents are always talking about how polite and smart and handsome you are.

p.s. joward ♥

dear m,

remember walking on the roofs? jumping down into the corn silo? the water gun fights?

you’re an amazing artist, photographer, and blogger, and you’ve inspired me to try to become better at those things.

dear t,

you seem to make k happy, so i guess you’re alright. but if you hurt her, i will end you. :)

dear q,

*batman voice* the dark dealer.

thanks for those lessons in video gaming, and the soccer game that was us vs everyone else — and we still managed to win. you’ve always kind of felt like a big brother, because you tease me a lot, but you’re still pretty nice to me.

dear b (den mother),

i think i could have helped you more if i had gotten over the fear of showing you how broken i am.

things will get better, my love. i promise.

dear k (pup),

sunshine girl. :D

 my favorite classes over ten years:

  • shakespeare
  • art
  • cultures
  • mini-society

random moments that have stuck with me:

  • getting first place at the gem fair
  • giving sour cream oreos to N
  • playing statue
  • finding a dead rabbit while running laps
  • when t asked who i liked
  • forming the cannibal murder club with q
  • getting the lead role in the musical
  • doing the great race with pup
  • the multiple pizza parties in public speaking class
  • teaching the class how to play “drug dealer”
  • “the murder of q king” skit
  • the pet mealworms
  • when j ate an entire pizza
  • making those huge, creepy skeletons in body class
  • delivering valentines in kindergarten
  • racing q in p.e.
  • improv
  • when q broke math
  • trading notebooks with pup, den mother, and izzy
  • watching N draw
  • the day we all wore flannel
  • the murder mystery
  • “take out the trash, pup.” “ok, where do you want to go?”
  • epic dodging skills in japanese dodgeball
  • when N got third in a dodgeball championship by using his jacket as a whip, and i got second

i could keep going, but this post is getting long enough already, and you guys are probably getting bored by my nostalgic lists.

if it weren’t for this co-op, i never would have met den mother, or pup, or megan, or N. so thank you for that, co-op.

thanks for the memories, even though they weren’t so great (thnks fr th mmrs // fall out boy).

xo

loren

My NaNoWriMo Project

I’m participating in NaNoWriMo again this year (my username on the YWP site is SecretKeeper001), and I’ve been trying to figure out which story to work on (I’ve got loads of ideas). Today, I picked one: I’m going to be writing a novel about a girl with depression.

Why? You see, in my homeschool co-op, I have a class called MAD — Making a Difference. Our assignment these past two weeks was to choose a problem we’re passionate about and come up with a solution. I chose mental illnesses.

After writing down how mental illnesses are problems (mostly how people treat those with illnesses) comes the hard part: solutions. It had to be something doable. I thought, What am I good at that could make a difference? and came up with writing a novel. Yeah, it is doable.

I don’t know entirely what the novel is going to be about, but at least I have a month to figure things out! I’m going to write it from the POVs of a girl with depression and a boy with social anxiety. One chapter would be told by the girl, the next by the boy, and so forth. The boy will be a stranger at the girl’s school who notices her scars.

I’m really excited to write this novel, because if I get it published, I think it could help lots of people realize that mental illnesses are a real problem.

Also, I need some help with this project. Is there anyone who has depression/social anxiety, and is willing to talk to me about it? In order to write a realistic novel, I need to know more about what it’s like to live with depression/social anxiety. If anyone is willing, email me at happyhouseofag@gmail.com, please.

Loren

Preparing for April Fools’ Day

April Fools' Day

April Fools’ Day is tomorrow . . . *evil grin*

Tomorrow is also Friday.

Tomorrow is also when my homeschool co-op meets. The kids at my co-op are gonna get it.

I was watching Life of Pi with my family a few days ago (I CAN’T FIGURE OUT THE ENDING, HELP), and when it was over, I ran upstairs to Google the ending (SERIOUSLY, SOMEONE SEND HELP). My brother followed me up the stairs, and then he glanced at the date on the computer . . . He immediately began counting on his fingers (such brilliance XD). Then he shouted, “Friday is April Fools’ Day!”

We started freaking out, because we were sure that there would be a bunch of pranksters at co-op. But then we remember that WE could be the pranksters. :D

Here’s a list of what I’m going to do on April Fools’ Day:

  • Walk up to someone and say, “Your shoe’s untied,” even if it isn’t.
  • Take a photo of myself and wear the same clothes I’m wearing in the pic. Walk up to someone, point at the picture, and ask, “Have you seen this person?”
  • Throw a small plastic ball at someone and shout, “Get into your ball, you stupid Pokemon!”
  • Write on a paper cup, “Do not open unless you plan to kill it.” Put nothing in the cup. Leave upside down on a table. If a person lifts the cup, they’ll see nothing, and think that it got out.
  • Take an Oreo, twist off the top, and scoop out the cream. Replace cream with white toothpaste or mayonnaise. Serve to unsuspecting friend on a silver platter.

And that it what the kids in my class will have to deal with.

Want to see more awesome pranks? I’ve created a Pranks board on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/happyhouseofag/pranks/

Loren