// i’m just a man, i’m not a hero //

x

may is mental health awareness month, which i actually didn’t know until gracie asked me to write a post about it. i’m supposed to ask two other bloggers to write a post, and i’d like to ask den mother and eva. and i’m supposed to include some helplines. you can search “helplines (name of your country)” if you need help immediately.

so. here’s my post. :)


“my partner has a mental illness,” you sigh, massaging the bridge of your nose.

there’s pity in the other person’s eyes. they place their hand on top of yours. “i’m so sorry. that must exhausting for you,” they murmur.

you nod. “it’s tough. but i love them anyway.”

applause fills the room. confetti is cascading from the ceiling. two women in heels and glitzy dresses prance toward you, carrying a glittering sign: i love someone with a mental illness! it reads. i’m a great person! the women pose with you as cameras flash all around.

hey. guys. you’re not a hero for loving someone with a mental illness.

they’re crying in their room because they don’t know why they’re alive? they can’t go to the store because being around people makes them incredibly nervous? they refuse to eat the dinner you made for them because there’s a voice in their head telling them they don’t deserve it? i guarantee that constantly fighting their mental illness is harder to do than it is for you to love them.

people are not badges. you can’t say that you’ve loved someone of color, someone with a disability, with a mental illness, etc. and get special treatment. you didn’t choose to fall in love with that person, right? it just happened. and your partner didn’t choose to have their mental illness.

if you truly love  that person, it shouldn’t matter that they have a mental illness.

some of my friends have mental illnesses, and it hurts to know that i can’t love their problems away. saying “i love you” will not fix everything. i can’t make their mental illnesses go away. i know that. but i can do my best to help them and i can give them hugs and listen to them and stick  with them when things are bad.

if they have depression, they might look sad and lost a lot of the time. but when they smile, it feels like you just got the greatest gift in the whole freaking world. if they have anxiety, they might ask often if you hate them, or if you actually love them. you can assure them that you love them no matter what. if they have an eating disorder, it might be hard for them to eat anything at all. but when they do eat something, no matter how small it is, you’ll get an incredible rush of pride that they managed to shut off the voice in their head long enough to eat.

the person you love is fighting and they are a hero for staying alive.

xo

loren

// songs for when you want to give up //

songs in bold are explicit.

friend, please // twenty one pilots

the light behind your eyes // my chemical romance

believe // yellowcard

throne // bring me the horizon

johnny boy // twenty one pilots

missing you // all time low

welcome to the black parade // my chemical romance

body bag // beartooth

truce // twenty one pilots

if i’m james dean, you’re audrey hepburn // sleeping with sirens

saturn // sleeping at last

time of dying // three days grace

the kill // thirty seconds to mars

guns for hands // twenty one pilots

famous last words // my chemical romance

cinderblock garden // all time low

lovely // twenty one pilots

save // tyler joseph

“i don’t want to do this anymore. i can’t do this anymore. i give up! i’m done fighting. please let me go. please.

i’m going to ask you to do something for me. think of someone who is important to you. could be a friend, a band member, someone you met online, even someone who you don’t know yet — like your future best friend or the person you’ll marry, if that’s something you want to do. now promise that person that you will stay alive for them.

you don’t want to disappoint that person, do you? so stay alive. keep fighting, no matter how hard it gets. someday, you will be glad that you didn’t give up. someday, you can tell that person that you are alive because of them.

please don’t give up.

i love you.

(is there a song that you think should be on this list? leave the name in the comments.)

xo

loren

Because it matters-let’s make mental illness less invisible

This post by Tara from “Flower in Rainy Day” goes along with the topic of my NaNoWriMo novel. Please read it!

Hello people

This post is very important so please, read it to it’s end and than decide what to do.

It’s been a while since I had idea about helping project. I did it, but it was only a idea and I wasn’t even confident about it, so I am doing it today again, with a lot of more courage. If you don’t believe that you are going to do something, you are never gonna do it, and so my idea just stayed an idea and didn’t become a reality.



  • Anxiety & Panic Disorders
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Depression
  • Eating Disorders
  • Schizophrenia
  • …..

I have suffered with anxiety. I was having panic attacks, I was feeling very sad and trapped inside myself and I just didn’t know what to do with all the anger and fear I had inside me.

Before this happening to me I didn’t know much about anxiety, depression…

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My NaNoWriMo Project

I’m participating in NaNoWriMo again this year (my username on the YWP site is SecretKeeper001), and I’ve been trying to figure out which story to work on (I’ve got loads of ideas). Today, I picked one: I’m going to be writing a novel about a girl with depression.

Why? You see, in my homeschool co-op, I have a class called MAD — Making a Difference. Our assignment these past two weeks was to choose a problem we’re passionate about and come up with a solution. I chose mental illnesses.

After writing down how mental illnesses are problems (mostly how people treat those with illnesses) comes the hard part: solutions. It had to be something doable. I thought, What am I good at that could make a difference? and came up with writing a novel. Yeah, it is doable.

I don’t know entirely what the novel is going to be about, but at least I have a month to figure things out! I’m going to write it from the POVs of a girl with depression and a boy with social anxiety. One chapter would be told by the girl, the next by the boy, and so forth. The boy will be a stranger at the girl’s school who notices her scars.

I’m really excited to write this novel, because if I get it published, I think it could help lots of people realize that mental illnesses are a real problem.

Also, I need some help with this project. Is there anyone who has depression/social anxiety, and is willing to talk to me about it? In order to write a realistic novel, I need to know more about what it’s like to live with depression/social anxiety. If anyone is willing, email me at happyhouseofag@gmail.com, please.

Loren