// the last day //

yesterday was the last day of co-op. i’ve got a lot of feelings about this, so i’m putting them on the internet, to be read by people who don’t care.

i’ve been in this co-op since i was three. every friday for nearly my whole life, i would show up at the church and have classes with a bunch of other homeschool kids. now i’m too old for the co-op, and i’m never going to spend another friday with my classmates again.

there are a lot of things i’m not going to miss: waking up early, doing p.e. in the cold, getting hunger pains because i forgot breakfast, the overwhelming feeling of being with people for hours. but i am going to miss trading notes during class and laughing over dumb jokes and squeezing my friends into the car so we can hang out after co-op. and i’ll miss seeing those people every week. they’ve been part of my life for so long, and now they’re gone.

“you never know what you have until you lose it.”

i’m glad that the co-op decided to make yearbooks. i want to remember these people.

on the back: “you’re smart, funny, sweet, dear, amazing, cool, talented, kind, helpful, honest, ship crazy, and the best friend in the world. i love you so much and i never want to lose you. ♥ -kelsie ♥” (aka pup)

one of my teachers made us write our name on a piece of paper and pass it around the table. everyone had to write something nice on it. i’m a rather sentimental person, so believe me when i say that i am never getting rid of this paper.

i want to write a note to everyone who has been in my class — even the ones who are gone, but who i’ve never forgotten. i don’t forget people. and sometimes that hurts, because they forget me.

so, anyway. here i go.

dear d,


dear s,

thanks for introducing me to people when i was the new kid.

dear m,

remember that time you cracked your head against the wall and had to get stitches? the blood spots are still there. that’s your legacy.

dear j,

i never knew you very well. you were the smart girl with all the answers, and i was the quiet one who shook whenever the teacher asked me a question.

dear i,

i haven’t seen you in awhile. i don’t really expect to ever see you again. but we had a good couple of years.

dear s,

people still ship us. i’m not sure why, because i never even liked you. but i’ve been called loren breen many, many times.

dear h,

i kind of regret never getting to know you. all i really remember about you is that you liked horses, and you’re cousins with N, and you’re a good soccer player, and you look nice in lavender.

dear N,

i told you that i would fight the universe to be with you again. i’m always willing to fight, and this should actually be a challenge. but it will be worth it, in the end.

i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry.

dear h,

you’re always going to be remembered by the video where t is humming uptown funk and you burst in with “sweet home alabama!”

dear t,

i tried to draw you in art class, and it ended up looking like troye sivan.

you’re a jerk, by the way. i’ve come very close to punching you on multiple occasions. it’s fine that you hate me, but you’ve got to stop making fun of the people that i love.

dear j,

idk. sorry for shipping you with h, i guess. i’m not sorry, actually, joward is my otp.

dear h,

you’re kind of a nerd, but i am, too, so it’s cool. you’re pretty popular with the mom crowd — my friends’ parents are always talking about how polite and smart and handsome you are.

p.s. joward ♥

dear m,

remember walking on the roofs? jumping down into the corn silo? the water gun fights?

you’re an amazing artist, photographer, and blogger, and you’ve inspired me to try to become better at those things.

dear t,

you seem to make k happy, so i guess you’re alright. but if you hurt her, i will end you. :)

dear q,

*batman voice* the dark dealer.

thanks for those lessons in video gaming, and the soccer game that was us vs everyone else — and we still managed to win. you’ve always kind of felt like a big brother, because you tease me a lot, but you’re still pretty nice to me.

dear b (den mother),

i think i could have helped you more if i had gotten over the fear of showing you how broken i am.

things will get better, my love. i promise.

dear k (pup),

sunshine girl. :D

 my favorite classes over ten years:

  • shakespeare
  • art
  • cultures
  • mini-society

random moments that have stuck with me:

  • getting first place at the gem fair
  • giving sour cream oreos to N
  • playing statue
  • finding a dead rabbit while running laps
  • when t asked who i liked
  • forming the cannibal murder club with q
  • getting the lead role in the musical
  • doing the great race with pup
  • the multiple pizza parties in public speaking class
  • teaching the class how to play “drug dealer”
  • “the murder of q king” skit
  • the pet mealworms
  • when j ate an entire pizza
  • making those huge, creepy skeletons in body class
  • delivering valentines in kindergarten
  • racing q in p.e.
  • improv
  • when q broke math
  • trading notebooks with pup, den mother, and izzy
  • watching N draw
  • the day we all wore flannel
  • the murder mystery
  • “take out the trash, pup.” “ok, where do you want to go?”
  • epic dodging skills in japanese dodgeball
  • when N got third in a dodgeball championship by using his jacket as a whip, and i got second

i could keep going, but this post is getting long enough already, and you guys are probably getting bored by my nostalgic lists.

if it weren’t for this co-op, i never would have met den mother, or pup, or megan, or N. so thank you for that, co-op.

thanks for the memories, even though they weren’t so great (thnks fr th mmrs // fall out boy).



BEGE Talk Show

We interrupt your regular blogging schedule to present the Blue Eyes, Gray Eyes Talk Show.


Co-op ended in April (hooray), on the day of the musical. The building was really hot, and the stage smelled like sweaty armpits the whole time. It was unpleasant. And it was pretty boring just sitting on the stage for an hour.

BUUUT, during the rehearsal before the musical, I was complaining about how hot it was. And Quinn (my brother’s friend; he was next to me on the stage) said, “You know why?”



My brother has been quoting that forever, but he’ll just go, “Wow, it’s really hot out . . . Know why?” Then he smirks and wiggles his eyebrows. “Me.” And it’s rather annoying (’cause he does it all the time), and he’ll never do it nearly as well as Quinn did.


Live Love Soccer:


The spring soccer season has ended . . . WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE? I just have to wait until the fall season. But it seems so far awayyyy.

Anyway, my favorite coach ever is not coaching anymore, which is terrible. Terrible.

I should have ranted about this weeks ago, when I was really good and angry, but whatever. This one team CHEATED IMMENSELY.

One game, we were short a couple players — as in, we didn’t have enough to play, let alone have subs. So my coach asked two girls that had played before us if they’d be on our team for that game (keep in mind that they were already tired). They agreed, so we’d have enough to play. But we still didn’t have any subs.

I was watching the other team, and it looked like they had way more players than they should have. Like, around seventeen players. We only had, what — eight? And then I figured it out when I saw how may adults were gathered around that team. THEY HAD INVITED ANOTHER TEAM TO PLAY WITH THEM. They had double the amount of players that they should have.

Another of our team’s players showed up right before the game started, so we had one sub . . . While the other team had about seven. Their players got to rest for a long time before playing, while on my team, you got to rest for maybe three minutes before getting put back in the game.

Not only did they cheat by inviting another team, but they were constantly fouling us. A girl tripped me on purpose, right in front of the ref. The defense was body slamming our players whenever they got close to their goal. They did hand balls. They had TEN players on the field, while we only had eight. The ref didn’t even notice how many players they had until halftime, and then, when he wasn’t looking, the other team’s coach sent extra players back in!

This literally could not be more true:


There was a throw-in, but the ref paused the game so the subs could come in. But the girl taking the throw-in didn’t care, and put the ball into play while the game was paused. Our team wasn’t paying attention because it was paused, and the other team scored. And the ref counted it! Even though it was paused!



These are for you, sir.

Vacation Bible School

My church’s VBS is at the end of July, and I’m really excited for it. I’m going to be a crew leader this year (I asked for first grade)! I’ve been a assistant two years in a row, and on the worship team once, but this is the first time that I’ve gotten to be a crew leader. :D

Cave Quest VBS. Nazarene caverns. Recruit volunteers and preregistration for VBS.:


The theme is Cave Quest, which sounds neat. I know that they’re growing crystals as decorations. My church really goes all out for VBS.

My best friend Izzy is going to be a crew leader, too, but she asked for Preschool. She requested to have the little girl she wants to babysit in her crew. I don’t really know WHY you’d want to have Preschool. What if they aren’t potty trained? I asked Izzy about this, and she said, “If they pee their pants, it’s their fault. They get to walk around all day with soaked pants.”


Youth Group

In May or April or something, my Youth Group did a Mario Kart night. We got to build our own carts out of . . . uh . . . these things . . .

I forgot what these things were called, my brother suggested “butt scooter,” AND IT WORKED.


BUTT SCOOTERS, cardboard boxes, and duct tape. My team built a spoiler and a pointy prow thing for our car.

The youth pastor had marked out a course through the lobby and the sanctuary (complete with pit stops). Three teams raced at once. The smallest people got to sit in the cars, while stronger ones pushed it through the course.


We won our first race, and then we raced the winner of the other round and won again. Our driver for the last round ripped off the spoiler and smacked the other person’s car. XD


Yes, that is a subject.

I was at Izzy’s house the day of the Mario Kart night, and I was sitting on the lawn under this tree. We went inside for lunch and I felt something on my back. Izzy’s little brother pointed and said, “There’s a caterpillar on your back.”

I didn’t believe him at first, but then I was like, “WAIT WHAT, REALLY, GET IT OFF.”

So Izzy pulled this caterpillar off my back. I was afraid that there might be more caterpillars on me, so I started patting myself down. And what do you know, a caterpillar had found its way down my shirt.

I shook it out and Izzy took it outside. She was holding it in cupped hands, and I heard her whisper, “Caterpillar, you have seen things that nobody wants to see.”


Well, this was fun. Ranting and complaining about refs, caterpillars, Quinn, and Mario Kart. I might do it again.


Yesterday, a grumpy teenager chased me around on a lawn mower. :P

Happy Easter + What I Did Yesterday


Hello, and happy Easter!

I’m not doing a special post for Easter, really. All you get is a cute Pusheen GIF. Why am I doing this post, then? Because I want to tell you a thing.

Yesterday, I spent ALL DAY at my church. I was there from 10:00 a.m. to 8:20 p.m. My church wanted to do something special for Easter this year, so they hosted an event called Road to Resurrection. Groups would go through the decorated church, trailing after a tour guide, and “follow Jesus’s footsteps through his last days in Jerusalem” or something like that. My mom signed up to help, and she ran Destination One, which was supposed to take place outside the east gate of Jerusalem. She actually built a really cool gate out of cardboard — keystone, ramparts, and all. And she painted a Roman soldier and a donkey onto cardboard. The donkey was so well done, some people thought it was real!

 I helped my mom run Destination One. We dressed up in tunics made of bed sheets (so stylish, I know XD) and tied scarves around our heads. We welcomed the “travelers” and told them about Jesus riding through the gate on a donkey, and about different names for Jesus, like Kyrios, Rabboni, Agnus Dei, etc. My mom would say to the groups, “They’re different names for the same person.” Then she’d turn to me. “I’ve heard some travelers talk about them. Loren, do you remember what it’s called?”

“Nick-i-names?” I’d suggested. The groups would almost always correct us, saying that it was “nicknames,” not nick-i-names.

Then my mom would pump up the crowd, get them to wave some paper palms, shout “Hosanna,” etc.

My older brother was there, too. (On this blog, he’s known as Sir Toilet Drinker.) He dressed up as a Roman soldier and guarded a “prisoner” in the basement of the church.

After, like, five hours of doing Destination One, we finished! *celebrates* We cleaned up the church, and then a guy from Pizza Hut came and dropped off at least ten pizzas, probably more. Pizza was the highlight of my day. Well, I got two scoops of ice cream for lunch, which was pretty good, too. ;)

Yeah. That’s what I did yesterday. What a way to spend a Saturday!


Happy Easter!


Random Fridays #7

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Official Theatrical Poster



I’m going to watch it in a few days at a cinema where you can eat dinner in the theater. :D

Photo belongs to booksandmessybuns.wordpress.com

Random Fridays  is a weekly meme hosted by Rebeca at “Books and Messy Buns”. Anyone can join, you just have to do the following:

  • Pick up the book you’re currently reading (or read last)
  • Go to this random number generator and insert the total amount of pages in your book
  • Generate a random number
  • Open your book in the page with number you got
  • Repeat step 2 and 3 but with the number of lines in that page
  • Your random sentence is the first sentence in the line with the number you got (it doesn’t matter if the sentence starts a few lines before)
  • Share your sentence, book title and author with the book community :)

My Random Sentence:

His eyes widened and she realized she’d never told him about her unusual connection to the alicorn.

— page 320, Keeper of the Lost Cities: Exile by Shannon Messenger.

December/Christmas blogging challenge

{Image belongs to Kathryn}


I am so excited for Christmas! How am I going to survive the next seven days?! I actually sometimes think that that’s a dumb question, not that I haven’t asked it before. Like, how can I NOT survive the next seven days?

There was a package sitting outside my house when I got back from my playing with my friend. My mom wouldn’t let me read what company the package was from, which leads me to believe that it is a Christmas present.


I hereby promise not to sneak into my parent’s room during the night and see who the package was from.

Quote Buddy the Elf loudly in Public



The next time I’m in a store, I promise I will say this.

Write what Christmas sounds like

ELVIS CHRISTMAS SONGS. Bells, snow falling, wrapping paper ripping, delighted shrieks . . . uh . . . that’s all. I think.

Speaking of Christmas, my friend Issy got me some Christmas presents!

Spa Bella Soothing Gel Eye Mask

Brother approved.

First up, we have a . . . er . . . eye mask? From Spa Bella. Whatever that company is.


It’s filled with blue things that I’m pretty sure are Orbeez.

According to Issy, if you heat it up, it’ll help you sleep and help headaches and stuff.  If you make it cold (by putting it in the freezer), it’ll “wake you up.” I’m pretty sure my mom is going to stick this thing on my face in the mornings when she wants to wake me up.



She also got me a TARDIS notebook!

I am not ashamed to admit that I squealed when I unwrapped it.


There’s Gallifreyan writing on the inside of the cover.


There is a little TARDIS in the bottom right corner of every page.


It says “Doctor Who” on the top of each page, too.


Here it is compared to the size of my hand.

Thank you SO much, Issy!

Remember, your Creating Worlds Writing Camp entries are due tomorrow, December 19th!


Who reads my secret messages? :)