// truce //

now the night is coming to an end
the sun will rise and we will try again

stay alive, stay alive for me
you will die, but now your life is free
take pride in what is sure to die

i will fear the night again
i hope i’m not my only friend

stay alive, stay alive for me
you will die, but now your life is free
take pride in what is sure to die

truce // twenty one pilots

---

truce (noun): an agreement between enemies or opponents to stop fighting or arguing for a certain time.

to the universe,

let something wonderful happen and i will stop begging for good things every night. i will stop crying out to you that the garden on my lot has wilted. just send some sunlight to bring the flowers back to life.

to my love,

i will stay alive for you if you will stay alive with me.

(easier said than done, darling.)

i think both of our hourglasses are almost empty.

xo

loren

// gem museum //

hey, guys! i hope your day is going well.

for science class, my friend izzy and i visited a local mineral museum. it’s part of a college, so it’s not very big, but i was still quite impressed. i took a few pictures of the gems and wanted to share them with you.

here’s the museum itself.

i’ve always had a thing for gems and smooth stones. not as much the stylized ones that are used in jewelry, but raw ones, or polished ones that fit perfectly in the dip of your palm. it amazes me that such complex shapes and gorgeous colors are being created under our feet.

i’ve found quartz in my garden, and it always excites me that they were growing in the dirt along with my plants.

stone roses.

these look like dragon eggs or jawbreakers. i know that they’re rocks and that they’ll shatter my teeth if i try to eat them, but i kind of want to try one anyway.

they’re just so pretty?? help.

this one looks like someone painted it with watercolors.

there was a display under ultraviolet lights, so the rocks, which looked normal in regular lighting, glowed neon colors. :D

i saw some really awful geology jokes on the internet, and i thought you guys should suffer with me, so here you go.

q: what do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
a: SWAG

q: anyone know a joke about sodium?
a: na

q: what do you do with a dead chemical?
a: you barium
(and then cry because this reminds you of my chemical romance.)

i feel like such a nerd.

have a good day, my friends! you look great and you are loved.

xo

loren

// 5 reasons why i’m thankful for blogging //

hey. i hope you’re all having a good day so far.

i don’t like thanksgiving that much (who thought a holiday where you’re supposed to eat copious amounts of food in front of people would be a good idea?), but i wanted to do something for it anyway. so here are some reasons why i’m thankful for blogging.

it’s a place to express myself

i love being able to share my pictures, drawings, and stories/poems with others. i think it’s easier to share my creations online than in person, because while my friends will glance over what i’ve made and say, “nice,” you guys actually give me encouragement and constructive criticism.

it gave me a hobby

before i started blogging, my only hobbies were reading and gymnastics. making blog posts helped me realize that photography and writing — which are now two of my main pastimes — are lots of fun. plus, blogging is a hobby all of its own.

it helped me get into new things

you have no idea how many books/shows/bands i’ve gotten into just because someone mentioned it on their blog. if it weren’t for them, my tastes wouldn’t have expanded from rick riordan, doctor who, and owl city.

the community

idk what kind of blogging community i’m in (wordpress? writing? photography?), but it’s incredible. all the bloggers i know are sweet and helpful and leave comments that make me smile. in fact, i’ve gotten emails from some of you asking if i was doing ok because i sounded sad in one of my posts. most of the people in my life don’t make as much of an effort to reach out to me as you guys do.

internet friends!!

i’m not gonna lie, talking to my internet friends is one of my favorite things about blogging. it’s crazy how much i care about and enjoy chatting with these people who i’ve never met.

i also wanted to share some pictures i took when the trees were turning colors. they’re mostly of the crepe myrtle in the front yard, but there are some of our maples, too.

i have to go to my grandparents’ house today for lunch. i’m not terribly excited about that. it’s always pretty boring and i have to listen to my family make homophobic/sexist comments all afternoon.

anyway. happy thanksgiving.

xo

loren

 

// feuillemort: the color of a dying leaf //

just some recommendations for autumn.

music:

halloween // be more chill

it’s almost halloween // panic! at the disco

the real world // owl city

forest // twenty one pilots

overgrown // oh wonder

wolf bite // owl city

isle of flightless birds // twenty one pilots

plant life // owl city

november // sleeping with sirens

trees // twenty one pilots

☼

the first two are the only ones that are really related to the season, the others just give me autumn vibes.

books:

coraline // neil gaiman

always october // bruce coville

on the day i died // candace fleming

may bird trilogy // jodi lynn anderson

lockwood & co. series // jonathan stroud

the black cat // edgar allen poe

the witch of blackbird pond // elizabeth george speare

☼

the lockwood & co. series is one of my favorites. i’m reading the last book in the series right now and my friend has given me hints about what happens. i’m a bit scared.

tv/movies:

coraline

the nightmare before christmas

the corpse bride

frankenweenie

over the garden wall (tv series)

☼

lots of tim burton movies. i love them very much and they’re pretty much all i watch around halloween.

---

have some photography. they all have an orange-y hue.

plant’s shadows are so pretty.

i don’t know what this plant is, but i like it a lot. it looks like it has tiny pumpkins growing all over it.

protip: dried pine needles make great fire starters (they’re also one of my favorite colors).

this is the first year of my life where autumn doesn’t signal the beginning of co-op. sometimes i really hated that place, but i miss it now. i would get up early and stand in the yard to watch the sunrise, frosted grass crunching under my shoes and my breath being illuminated by the first beams of light. my mind would become calm and still to match the quiet earth. i needed those numb moments of silence to get through the day, where i would be caught in a buzz of too-loud voices and bodies moving too quickly for me to concentrate on. i have so many memories of co-op, but the ones that stand out to me the most are the yellow lights and dirty tile floors and sitting on wooden boards in the heat while i spaced out and my friends giggled about boys. i remember feeling dizzy and weightless and slow.

i think i made it sound a little awful, but i miss it. i miss my friends.

autumn is my favorite season for a lot of reasons. some simple ones are the chill in the air, apple cider, orange light, flannels and boots, halloween. but i also love autumn because it is lonely. it is beautiful, but it is dying. vibrantly colored leaves can crumble between your fingers. warm days can melt away into long, shivering nights that get into your bones.

autumn is so, so lonely. autumn is cold. i feel like autumn.

xo

loren

// another adventure | photography //

my mom dragged me to a campground last week for a nature journaling club (basically a convention of old ladies who thought they were hilarious). i’ve been there many times before, with ahg and cub scouts, and for a renaissance fair and jousting tournament.

i roamed around the campground and hiked up to an overlook while my mom was at the club. i am in love with wandering off by myself and just thinking. i think there’s a word for that: solivagant. it’s a nice word. i wish i sounded like it. 

my mom is an artist. she’s kind of ok, i guess.

i found a dying bouquet by the base of the cliffs. it made me sad. that might be one of the worst kinds of sadness: seeing something that makes you ache, but not knowing why it makes you feel that way.

there’s a tiny cave in one of the cliffs. there were enormous crickets on the ceiling. gross.

people have scratched words into the rocks up at the lookout. i like searching for things other than initials.

because if you’re going to deface nature, you may as well be polite about it.

while i was hiking up to the outlook, a group of girls with a puppy passed by. it was chubby and white and basically a puffball of light and joy. it was one of the softest things i’ve ever touched.

yellow flowers are a gift. thanks, God.

it was getting pretty hot, so i made my way over to the river, planning to wade. but the river was gone?? somehow?? so i took pictures of the wildflowers growing on the bank instead.

i’ve had my converse for almost two years and they’re falling apart. i need new ones. they’re not as bad as my last pair yet (i could peel back half of the sole on those ones), but they’re getting there. i’ve managed to rip a hole in the heel because i got one shoe stuck in a door, the laces are fraying, the rubber on the sides are coming off, and they’re stained red from the mud at my camp‘s shooting range.

these tiny daises are one of my favorite flowers.

idk what this means, but i like it.

i’m still angry about my river disappearing. it’s like part of my childhood evaporated. darn you, water cycle.

i have good memories of this place: murder in the dark in the rain, muddy ultimate frisbee, guitar around the campfire, splashing around in the river, biking through enormous puddles, playing cards with my best friend in our tent. it’s rained literally every time i’ve gone camping there, but i don’t really mind.

nostalgia tints everything gold.

xo loren

// rainy days are rad days //

« post idea from mason‘s rad blog. songs in bold are explicit. »

☼

21 questions // waterparks

ghost on the dance floor // blink-182

HELP // the front bottoms

whatsername // green day

royal // waterparks

freckles and constellations // dodie

lipstick covered magnet // the front bottoms

disappear // dear evan hansen

bulletproof love // pierce the veil

stupid for you // waterparks

my mood’s dictated by our conversations, and if you don’t text i get too frustrated. i want you all to myself this time. (21 questions)

i’m gonna get on my knees, would you kick me in the face, please? it’ll make whatever i say sound like poetry. (lipstick covered magnet)

i’m color-coding my moods. you’re yellow, i’m natural blue. let’s get together and be green like my insides. (stupid for you)

i’m scared i’m gonna die as lonely as i feel right now. (lipstick covered magnet)

it’s like the universe has left me without a place to go. (ghost on the dance floor)

even if you’re somebody who can’t escape the feeling that the world’s passed you by, you still matter. (disappear)

i fall in love with everything that wants nothing to do with me. (royal)

this isn’t fair! no, don’t you try to blame this on me. my love for you was bulletproof, but you’re the one who shot me. (bulletproof love)

thought i ran into you down on the street. then it turned out to only be a dream. (whatsername)

i saw your ghost tonight, the moment felt so real. if your eyes stay right on mine, my wounds would start to heal. (ghost on the dance floor)

i’ll be your new favorite tune, i’ll be your black cloud by june, but only when you miss the rain like i miss you. (stupid for you)

i’ll forget you if you need me to, like nothing ever happened. my sun still sets without you, like nothing ever happened. (21 questions)

☼

two of my favorite things to photograph are my friends when they are in love with life, and the way the world looks when the sky has cried on it.

i think i’m just going to talk now, so if that doesn’t interest you, you can leave.

school has started for me (which means having at least one mental breakdown a day). i’ve only been at public school four times so far and i have already witnessed lots of drama and become known as “that odd homeschool kid who can pronounce spanish words really well and guYS, LOOK, SHE CAN DRAW!! PLEASE DRAW ME!!” pal, i will draw you six feet under if you keep doing this.

i have a book of some of edgar allan poe’s work. i like it quite a lot, although it’s pretty disturbing. i’ve read the tell-tale heart, the cask of amontillado, the raven, the black cat, and the masque of the red death. speaking of books, i have a goodreads account now!! so that’s cool. you can follow me on there, if you’d like.

i got contacts today!! i can see leaves and all the wrinkles on my mom’s forehead!! i’ve been singing a whole new world in my head all day. i also got some free sunglasses. they’re dark enough that i can stare at people in public, but they won’t know because my eyes aren’t visible. if you’re a stalker, you need to get some of those shades. take it from an expert.

i hope you enjoy looking at pictures of flowers and wet things, because that’s pretty much all this post is. sorry about that. have a good day, my friends. :)

xo

loren