// dear blue eyes | love notes //

i. i think every poem about blue eyes was written about you. aquamarines, the ocean, a clear summer sky, the lake at camp, the tiny flowers growing beside the porch — they have blended together into the enchanting color of your gaze.

ii. i’m not sure if i believe in the red string of fate, or soulmates, or 11:11 wishes, or even true love. but i pray that if they’re real, then when i’m tripping over thin air, it’s because our string is wrapped too tightly around my legs. if they’re real, then your soul will teach mine how to dance with yours. if they’re real, know that i always wish for you. if they’re real, then let this love be as sure as the north star.

iii. once we get that apartment, i’m going to kiss your forehead when you come home from practice, even though you’ll taste like sweat.

iv. i want to tell you. i cannot tell you. i will never tell you.

v. i find you everywhere. in dripping, sickly sweet popsicles, lazy summer afternoons, glasses of lemonade in pretty cups, snatches of pop songs from a passing car.

vi. i am sure that you are the sun stuck in a human body.

vii. it hurts to hear you talk about the person you love, because it’s not me. you look so dreamy and absolutely lost in love, and i wonder if you’ve ever felt that way about me.

viii. i hope you know that every time i call you a loser, i’m trying to say “i love you.”

ix. it took me years to even hug you. i was afraid that the quickening of my heartbeat would give everything away. or that the sparks when you touch that you read about in cheesy love stories are real.

x. romance novels are so predictable. there are impossibly perfect kisses. person a. accidentally breaks person b.’s heart. but it was a mistake. they make up and everything is fine again. things are always easy between them and they live happily ever after. this is no romance novel. this is a horror story with a romantic subplot.

xi. i write about you, sometimes, in my journal. there are poems about what your soul looks like, and song lyrics that blur into your name.

xii. love is not a choice, although i wish it was. i would tell myself to stop falling for my friends.

xiii. none of this matters. i don’t love you anymore.

xo

loren

// playlist: songs for summer (1) //

here’s a list of songs that are either about summer, or give me summery vibes. if you’re not in a summer state of mind yet, these might help you along. part two coming soon. :)

« post idea from mason‘s rad blog »

summertime // my chemical romance

ocean avenue (acoustic) // yellowcard

satellites // sleeping with sirens

slowtown // twenty one pilots

swing, swing // the all-american rejects

umbrella beach // owl city

favorite record // fall out boy

save me a spark // sleeping with sirens

golden days // panic! at the disco

satellite // all time low

west coast friendship // owl city

forest // twenty one pilots

the strays // sleeping with sirens

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W // my chemical romance

saturday // fall out boy

on top of the world // imagine dragons

the yacht club // owl city

good times // all time low

kids from yesterday // my chemical romance

a concept: you are sitting on a dock, with fog drifting around you. you have a smoothie and your favorite book. listening to the birds and crickets singing a duet, you watch as the sun makes its slow ascent into the sky. vibrant hues bleed like watercolor over the horizon: peach and rose and lilac. a beam of sunlight lands on the dock, splashing you with warmth and hope. you open the worn covers of your book and are pulled into the fictional world as the one around you comes alive.

xo

loren

// two years + blogging tips //

yoooo, it’s my two-year blogiversary.

*my cat explodes, showering you with candy and confetti*

how rad. i would suggest a party, but 1) i hate parties, and 2) i pulled another all-nighter and i’m too tired for one.

i was trying to come up with something special to do for this very important moment in history. i came up with making mallowmelt and doing a giveaway, and although that would be pretty fun, i feel like my eyes are going to fall out, and fun just sounds like “getting tired while laughing.” so i’m going to post some really interesting stats while i think of something else.

but you should totally listen to party poison // my chemical romance to celebrate.

anyway. the stats.

*coughs*

*adjusts glasses*

664 followers.

315 posts

80k views

9k comments

top commenters:

rutvi – 106 (get a LIFE, rutvi. honestly.[i’m kidding, i like your comments.])

sam – 45

mckenna – 32

allison – 32

kathleen – 26

gracie – 24

so i thought of something sort of special that i could do. blogging tips. *jazz hands* it’ll be fun, don’t worry. i’ve got three and a half years of experience total, so i’m definitely qualified to write this (sarcasm).

☼ if you’re trying to design a button, header, featured image, etc., canva will be your friend.

☼ white backgrounds look the cleanest.

☼ avoid colored text, it’s hard to read.

☼ reply to comments and comment on other blogs.

☼ hosting challenges is a great way to get views.

☼ experiment with themes and colors until you find something that feels right.

☼ try to write about a variety of topics (unless, of course, your blog is specifically about one thing).

☼ tag your posts! they’ll help wordpress users find your blog.

☼ whatever you’re working on for your blog right now will be embarrassing in time. you’ll look back on it someday and wonder why anyone let you put that on the internet. it’s alright, post it anyway.

☼ if your pictures are blurry, say that they’re aesthetic, and no one will be able to complain about it.

☼ write down your blog-related stuff in a notebook. it can be titles for posts, bits of poetry, ideas for challenges, things you want to take pictures of, whatever.

☼ when in doubt, do a tag or q&a.

☼ pictures are good. make them big.

☼ make a separate email for your blog, so your main one doesn’t get swamped with notifications.

☼ give credit where credit is due. if you’re using a picture you didn’t take, link it back to the owner.

☼ there’s no shame in editing your pictures. the photo editors i use are picasa and picmonkey.

☼ try not to check your stats obsessively.

☼ proofread your posts. preview them before you hit publish and check for spelling and grammar errors. make sure that they’re well formatted.

☼ leave a gap of at least one day between posts.

☼ take hiatuses whenever you need to. there’s no need to post if you don’t want to/don’t have inspiration.

☼ become friends with other bloggers. internet friendships are amazing (although a little painful, since you can’t actually be with them). you can share ideas, encourage each other, chat, etc. you might become closer to them than your irl friends.

if you’ve got any tips to add, leave those in the comments.

so if my blog is two years old, then i myself must be at least that old, too. maybe i got my blog as a gift on the day that i was born. maybe i’m actually a two-year-old who got ahold of a computer and a dictionary. i’ve tricked all of you into becoming friends with me, a baby. let’s be lost is run by a two-year-old, pass it on.

(i’m not actually a baby.)

(well, a crybaby, perhaps. but that’s different.)

now we’ve just got to see if i can survive another year and get to my three-year blogiversary. :)

Dance Tylerjoseph GIF - Dance Tylerjoseph Twenty GIFsx

^^ tyler knows how to party.

xo

loren

// cwwc 2017 | sign-ups //

hello, my friends! the time has come to sign up for cwwc 2017. before i get into all of the details, how to sign up, etc., here are the teams:

team narnia (the chronicles of narnia) — 95 votes.

team hogwarts (harry potter) — 90 votes.

team half-blood (percy jackson and the olympians)– 31 votes.

team shire (lord of the rings) — 24 votes.

“important” information:

what it is:

creating words writing camp is an online writing challenge. it will last the entire month of august.

how it works:

for each challenge, i’ll post three writing prompts, a mix between dialogue and picture prompts. the participants will have four days to complete their entry and post it on their blog/email it to me. your entry can be a short story, poem, or story that continues throughout the challenges.

the goal:

to grow as a writer, and to help your team win. the winning team is whichever one has the most points at the end of august. you can earn points by submitting your stories on time (worth two points) and using the provided writing prompts (one point per prompt).

teams:

this year, the teams are team narnia, team hogwarts, team half-blood, and team shire. all of the participants will be sorted onto a team.

if you don’t have a blog:

you can still participate! all that changes is that instead of posting your story on your blog, you email it to me instead. my email is happyhouseofag@gmail.com.

how to sign up:

☼ leave a comment on this post, telling me your name and blog url.

☼ for those without a blog: tell me your name and that you are participating through email.

☼ tell me which team you would like to be on, as well as a second choice.

make sure to sign up before midnight on july 30th. i will post the first challenge on august 1st.

still have questions? you can ask me in the comments, and i’ll do my best to clear things up.

xo

loren

// emerald isle travel diary | pt. two //

hello, my friends!

it is hot as heck today. i spent the morning with my friend izzy, and we decided to use the sun to our advantage. so we went outside and burned stuff with a magnifying glass: ants, flowers, leaves, cat hair, our legs. (friCK, it hurt).

anyway! here’s the second — and final — part of my emerald isle travel diary. :) (read the first part here.)

« day four »

another night without much sleep! how fun. it’s turning into a habit.



we went to the pine knolls aquarium this morning. there were some normal stuff, like frogs and otters and freshwater fish. but there were also a few sharks, as well as lion fish, jellyfish, pipefish, and sea horses. the whole thing took us about two hours.

once we had been at the beach house for awhile, my parents went to check out a fishing shop. c and i sat on the porch and he insulted my friends again while i played ukulele. (believe // yellowcard and adam’s song // blink-182 are easy songs.)

i convinced c to go on a walk with me. we went in the opposite direction that i explored last night. it was really humid and hot and kind of gross and the wind kept blowing my hair into my face. but we saw a dog and some pretty beach houses and i picked flowers, so it was alright.

for dinner, we went to a restaurant named port of calls, which was right up against the water of the inland side of emerald isle. it was raining the whole time we ate, but it was rather nice anyway, because i got to watch the waves and the storm clouds and the rain drumming against the windows. the restaurant served seafood, which i’m not too fond of. so i got something called “buried treasure,” which turned out to be an enormous plate of potatoes, covered in cheese and bacon and tomatoes and sour cream. it was pretty good, but there was so much of it.

oh, and while we were eating, i figured out the names of my future pets: the dog will be named turtle, and i’ll have two turtles, who will be called dribble and billie joe armstrong.

my dad went fishing down at the beach after dark. c and i went to watch after our mom told us he had caught sharks. while we were waiting for him to catch something, we got in the water, even though the sea feels like a creature waiting to pounce when it’s nighttime. the water was creamy and warm and i wanted nothing more than to slip under the gentle waves and swim and swim and not come back.

 my dad did catch another shark while we were down there. it was slightly shorter than my forearm and it wriggled a lot and it felt like cold sandpaper.

« day five »

i didn’t sleep much again. what a surprise.

i woke up at eleven because there were noises in the house. the bathroom sink is leaking, so i guess there’s a plumber here to fix it. but he’s being extremely loud and he’s right outside my door.

i’m ready to go home. i feel like i can’t hear my own thoughts out here. i need to hide in my loft bed at home with the soft blankets and the fairy lights and not come out until the summer is over. we’ll leave on sunday morning, so i have to get through three days before i’m home again. that sounds really hard and i want to cry and sleep the rest of this trip away.

a few good songs:

long lost feeling // blink-182

if it means a lot to you // a day to remember

miserable at best // mayday parade

jamie all over // mayday parade

we walked along the pier and watched the fishermen lined up against the railing. people had carved hearts and their names and phone numbers into the wood. you’d think that couples would be able to come up with something more romantic than their initials inside a crudely drawn heart. if i were going to scratch something into a railing, i think it would just be the word lovely. 

we checked out one of the touristy shops by the beach. i don’t remember what it was called. there were tons of t-shirts and swimsuits and beach towels. the only thing i actually liked were the lifeguard tees. but i think it would be weird to wear something like that if you had never been a lifeguard. it sounds like a fun job to have, though. to me, one of the coolest things you can do is save someone, or at least be willing to. i’d like to be a lifeguard someday.


we went to watch spider-man: homecoming at a tiny movie theater called cinema 4. i have always adored spider-man, and the new actor made me like him even more. my mom and brother kept telling me how similar i am to one of the characters, michelle. i’ll take that as a compliment.

« day six »

would you believe me if i told you that i actually got enough sleep last night? yeah, i didn’t think so. nights are hard, my friends.

old microwaved pancakes are good for breakfast. i bet that when i move out, i could make one batch of pancakes and live off of it for a week.

my mom took my brother and me back to the aquarium. there were two trails there that led to the sound, and we hiked one of them. it wasn’t very long, only 1.2 miles. but there were so many awful mosquitoes. don’t even think about hiking here without lots of bug spray. it would have been a disappointing outing if it weren’t for the crabs. they were all along the marshy parts, with their holes beside the trail and claws littering the ground. and there were huge clusters of them on the sandy area of the sound.

we stopped by a little shop called homer’s point on the way home to pick up seafood for dinner. we still have some frozen food at the beach house, and i can have that instead of scallops.

my dad and i both really want to go home. we managed to convince my mom to let us leave a day early. :D so we’ll be going home sometime tomorrow (saturday) instead of sunday.

pro tip: don’t listen to three green day albums right before going to bed. you will be too hyped to sleep and you’ll want to run through the streets at night and kiss pretty people and overthrow the government and rule the world.

there was an insane storm tonight, and i was awake until four, drawing and watching the lightning. it lit up the sky more than the fireworks i’d seen a few nights ago a in the beach. and it wasn’t like there was one strike every few minutes. this was a constant light show. some of the lightning was red and it slithered from cloud to cloud. the strange part was that it wasn’t raining here at all.

« day seven »

i got up before noon today (i deserve an award, honestly) and packed all my stuff up. we left at 10:30. i’m in the car now and i have a feeling that this will be a very boring six hours. it’s rather hard to draw or write in a car, so that leaves me with reading to pass the time. this would be more bearable if i had music.

i had a dream that i kissed your lips, and it felt so true. then i woke up as a nervous wreck and i fell for you. (fell for you // green day)

apparently we’ve already been driving for an hour? it doesn’t feel like it. maybe this won’t be as awful as i anticipated. (i’ll probably look back at this in five hours and start laughing, and then i’ll cry.)

i thought we were getting close, but we actually have about three and a half hours to go. sigh. i would write down some of my thoughts, but the only thing in my head right now is basket case // green day on repeat.

x

SOMETIMES MY MIND PLAYS TRICKS ON ME. IT ALL KEEPS ADDING UP. I THINK I’M CRACKING UP. AM I PARANOID? OR AM I JUST STONED?

we stopped for lunch, and lo and behold, there was a chick-fil-a. sadly, we didn’t get a free milkshake like last time, but it was still pretty good.

make sure you stay hydrated, kids. if you want some water, but you think it’s too much work to get up and find a drink, DO IT ANYWAY. if not, i will come to your house and lick you all over, and believe me, no one wants that. just looking out for your health, my loves. :)

the last time i remember driving through the mountains for a long time was in february, when i went away for the weekend with n. there was a girl in the van who got really sick after just a couple of minutes. i’m glad that no one in my family gets very carsick. i never know what to do when someone is feeling ill. reason #74925390 why i would be a bad parent.

 

my brother is snoring next to me. it sounds like when you have a cold and your nose is all clogged up. you guys can laugh at this picture of him, since you seem to enjoy dumb things.

we should be getting close to home, but i don’t think i recognize anything. maybe that’s because pockets of trees and golden fields crisscrossed with fences are everywhere here.

wait. apparently we’re on the road that goes right by the high school. i’m so confused. how can i not remember any of this? not being able to trust your own memory is a scary feeling, because what if the best ones, the ones you fall back on to escape when things are too hard — what if the version you’re clinging to isn’t how it really happened?

i don’t know where i am and i’m wondering if my most important memories are lies, but there are flowers along the road, so everything will be ok.

scratchy rock music playing on the radio is kind of comforting.

COWS.

my favorite things about my hometown are the wildflowers that grow in the median, and the christian music stations that remind me of my brother’s old friend, and the rundown stores along the highway that are owned by the locals, where time stops moving and all you can think about is the too-cold air conditioning and the smell of cigarettes and the moisture on the cooler doors and the colored specks in the tiles and the taste of freezer burn on the ice cream.

i know where we are now. we just got out of the state park that’s filled with waterfalls and trees with faerie houses in them. i’m still confused as to why i saw the road sign that’s supposed to be next to the high school. maybe there are two roads named that in this state (unlikely)? maybe i can’t trust my memory. i don’t know.

my mom said we would home at 5:17, but it’s 5:19 and we’re not there. lying to your family. what a monstrous thing to do. (also, i’m about to run out of battery, help.)

I NEED TO GO TO THE BAAATHROOOOM, BUT IT’S A MUUUSICAAAAL.

hello, post office! hello, town hall! hello, housing development! hello, bumblebee car! hello, my hill! hello, my house! hello, my kitten!

xo

loren

// today was not too bad //

you are my peach, you are my plum. you are my earth, you are my sun.

(peach // the front bottoms)

« post idea from mason‘s rad blog »

songs in bold are explicit.

lazy bones // green day

feeling this // blink-182

rainbow connection // sleeping at last (cover)

hum hallelujah // fall out boy

peach // the front bottoms

after midnight // blink-182

miserable at best // mayday parade

troublemaker // green day

hey i’m sorry // blink-182

LISTEN TO PEACH, IT’S SO CUTE. PLEASE JUST DO IT.

i went on a five mile bike ride this morning with my mom. there were lots and lots of corn fields and hills. but there were also lots of wildflowers, like queen anne’s lace, daisies, and chicory. however, i did forget to use deodorant, and my shirt was literally soaked with sweat, so that was fun. don’t use me as a role model, kids.

x

does anyone else get intrusive thoughts? like, “eat that WHOLE tube of toothpaste,” or “impale yourself on that FRICKEN S T I C K.” because my brain was supplying some of those while i was biking.

my mind: you should swerve in front of this lovely car!! it’ll be fun!!

me: dude, what??

my mind: SWERVE TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT, TAKE IT BACK NOW YA’LL.

me: *screaming*

x

i have been really into blink-182 lately — probably thanks to how many times i listened to the california album while i was on vacation. (some of my favorite songs are misery, long lost feeling, after midnight, down, i miss you, and adam’s song.) anyway, i was looking at band merch at hot topic, and i found this sweatshirt. “genuine crappy punk rock” — i really should not find it funny, but i do. so i bought it and my band merch collection is expanding.

blink-182, according to my mom: “you mean that one band that filmed a video naked?” aye, cheers, mum, that’s the one.

Image result for green day mask

x

apparently you can buy masks of the green day members?? how rad and slightly creepy are these things? can we get them, n? you can have the tré cool one, since you need a bit of help in the cool area. ;D heh heh heh, making fun of friends is great.

i’ve been having fun annoying my family today with my expert ukulele skills (sarcasm). i’ve been playing one part from feeling this // blink-182 over and over again:

fate fell short this time
your smile fades in the summer
place your hand in mine
i’ll leave when i wanna

i have a legend of zelda shirt. fiGHT ME.

it has been confirmed that the best way to play ukulele while standing up is to pretend you are a flamingo, like so. (this picture was not easy to take because i kept hopping around and falling over. a round of applause for my mum, who deals with my peanut butter on a daily basis [i don’t think anyone is going to understand that, but it was funny, trust me].)

i’m bitter, so i drew a picture of me being replaced. r.i.p. 

i also made up a song about pup, which goes like this:

my baby girl is all grown up
she’s off to college
with her ugly boyfriend
his name is p-v-r
peak valley ridge
steals the girls’ hearts
and took my love away from me

(she’s not actually going to college just yet. we’re not that old.)

i think this blog started off as a writing/photography/books/the occasional weird rant blog, but now it has turned into a place for crying about music, mediocre art, the rare aesthetic photo, and basically a guide for how to become friends with the void. but it seems to still be attracting followers, so either it’s not as bad as i think, or you guys just like dumb stuff. probably the latter.

i stayed up until after 4:30 last night, which was fun, i guess? you’d think that i would have been so tired from my last all-nighter that i would have been able to sleep. but my body and mind frequently turn against me, and that’s how things like this happen. :) i started reading a book called the unlikely adventures of mabel jones by will mabbitt, which my friend izzy suggested to me. it starts with a girl getting kidnapped by a loris because she opened a portal into our world by picking her nose and eating it. maybe i only think it’s super weird because of how late it was, but i honestly can’t be sure.

i remember that one time in cultures class, n used “i pulled an all-nighter” as an excuse for getting all the questions wrong (clever, but cheap, my friend). our teachers were pretty chill, though, so they let it go. i’m not kidding, they were fifteen minutes late to their own class on the first day because they had gone to chick-fil-a while dressed up as old ladies.

 in february — it was the weekend of valentine’s day, i believe — i went to a camp in the mountains with n and his church’s youth group. the lodge felt really familiar, and i was sure i had been there before, but i couldn’t quite remember when. then i found some pictures of when i went there with the co-op.

i must have been about five or six and i was kicking butt on the climbing wall. :)

the kid in the green is n!! he’s so tiny. :D and the other small child is q. i love those losers.

HAVE A NICE EVENING. MAKE SURE TO DRINK YOUR CHOCOLATE MILK AND KISS YOU MOTHER AND CRUSH GENDER ROLES.

xo

loren